Great satire. Awful day.
No One Sets Out To Be A Smooth Jazz Musician | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
No One Sets Out To Be A Smooth Jazz Musician | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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Stay-Va-Va-Va-Voom Satisfied. In any waist management plan, you can stay satisfied. Not in the form of a dripping double cheeseburger but in the form of a safe, healthy, monogamous sex. Sex and hunger are regulated through the brain chemical NPY. Some have observed that having healthy sex could help you control your food intake; by satisfying one appetite center, you seem to satisfy the other.
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bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
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Conclusion
The
Armed Forces offer opportunity, challenge, and structure to young
adults. Some young adults with LD or AD/HD may be disqualified for
military service under current, regulations. For example, the current
use of medication to improve or maintain academic skills is
disqualifying.
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