The Office

I am excited for the Office coming back. It is very excellent. I think it coupled with Earl are the primary reasons ABC moved Gray's Anatomy to Thursdays. I speculate the addition of new 3 new cast members may be tied to Jim leaving the Scranton branch but keeping him in the show. It will be a delightful season. Last night Mike proclaimed as he shuffled about his last ritual, "I hate that [kind of(?)] show, but to each his own, right? I could never even get into Lost." I am puzzled by his choice to include Lost and The Office as similar shows. They hardly seem congruous in my mind. Good-bye, girl, for I shall be watching your doctor-slut-fest no more!
I am really enjoying my creative non-fiction course. Expository seems like a more harmonious word for the genre given the deceptive connotations of the word 'non-fiction'. Interestingly, many of our starting essays were on what is creative non-fiction. Genre defining itself within the genre it seeks to define. Delightsome.
My alarm just went off telling me to go and finish my composite functions, but I say "Nay! I shall delay!"
We must write a short piece of creative non-fiction of our own as well for presentation. I have had numerous thoughts of things I could write. The nature of the genre will dictate that it will be introspective and truthish, in as far as we can recall events and our impressions of them. Thus, I will be limited by my boldness to share my shames. A recent idea I'm playing with is an exposition on why I'm no longer making music. Organizing my various reasons could turn out quite well. My timer when off again and I'm losing my focus to the other tasks I set off last night (it was getting dark!). I should go. It would be good, but there are some aspects I am still reluctant to share, and ommission of them would leave my arguement incomplete. Just went off again, need to go. I am reluctant

RE: Bloody Stool

The following is a email I sent a friend regarding the current status of things, if you care. I don't, not enough to be original.

Mike? He reads books called "The Daemon Lord of X," where x is the location of said fantasy. He has a Dungeons and Dragons poster of different dragon species (the Bronze Dragon is my favorite, although it could never fly with such tiny wings). He has no less than six Star Trek models, even the Enterprize from the shitty one that was before Kirk or whatever. He watches anime on cartoon network. The only channels I've ever seen him watch are cartoon network, sci fi, and discovery (but only once!). He keeps a katana under his bed, and has several others at home with a few knives. You wanna know how I know he's ubernerdy? He's taking class called "Dating and Courtship". And he likes to listen to soft-warm-and-fuzzy-rock when he goes to sleep. It is awful, although John Tesh does have a voice fit for the station.

Fuzzb411's roommates are pretty cool. We watch Pinky and the Brain over at her place (DVD BITCH!!). The Christmas episode is really emotional. Pinky asks Santa to give Brain the world, and when Brain reads Pinky's letter that they forgot to give Santa, he is so overcome with the Christmas spirit that he relents on his plan, which would have given him the world. It was a good one. After we finish Pinky and the Brain, we're gonna start Darkwing Duck (suck it!).

My last math assignment was on Linear Equations in Calculus. It's "applied" for the life sciences and economics. Pwn'd!!1

Saw Rockapella last night, of Carmen Sandiego fame. As soon as trench coats are made, a stalker should be made. She Was good at hiding. Like a femme fatal version of Waldo. Sadly, she does not leave her clothes behind in the same fashion.

We had an air alert advisiory this last week. Idaho sucks ass.

Clever or ignorant? You decide!

I can't make up my mind about this one.

Time off

I regret taking thursday off. It was nice to relax, but not the 76$ worth. Pathetic. I doubt tomorrow will be worth it either. Only 2 weeks left there. It's not so bad. This is work:

Finally

Was finally able to get a hold of that former bishop. They got in at midnight last night, so my incessant calling ever half hour for 5 hours was needless. Here’s what gets me, his wife just said that he was “in-town”. They live in Rexburg, Idaho. What the hell can that mean?

piss

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Frequent nightmares, waking often, nothing you care about. I haven’t been comfortable at all lately, very cranky. I think both may be caused by my recent regression to wearing jeans. They don’t feel natural. Bulky, rigid strides; I hate them. I don’t have an eye for matching clothing, perhaps worsened by dressing in the dark all year, and jeans make it worse. Blue on the bottom? Where do you go from there? At least black and beige are fairly neutral, comparatively easy in my head. Aside from my cumbersome clothes, employment and education have been frequent challenges. It’s taken days to get my urine cleared as clean: faxing prescriptions, calling around, and much more effort for piss. I expect a call soon telling me when they want me to come in. School has been much more troublesome. It is very frustrating. The entire episode has me seething. I will let you know how it ends, but it is making my reflection on my past year much more bitter. It’s becoming a chore to write.
Yours in Hatred,
Wafflecone

The Pretender

I'm not sure if anyone remembers that show about the man on the run from the government agency that trained him to be able to perform any vocation immediately because he was a genius. As the protagonist, Jared, flees the government who raised him only to betray him (or something like that) he would assume some identity and show up to whatever job that character had. It was like Quantum Leap meets the X-files. Two things never really mad sense to me about that show: Why he left little clues for agency to follow (in retrospect it was probably to provide some conflict and continuity to the show and some psychological thing I don't understand at this time) and Why no one ever bothered to check his credentials. He walks onto an Air Force base and flies an F-16 and no one notices that they've never seen this guy before? He just makes up some official sounding bunk about being transfered and no one bothers to check it out? Perhaps we are too far removed from the care-free life of 1996 to understand. Anyways, as I scour the job offerings, their various requirements and salaries, I think, "I could totally b.s. that job." One in particular stood out to me: Elephant Supervisor. I could totally do that! Little reading on captive care of elephants via wikipedia and you're set. If I wasn't so afraid that an elephant would gank me, I'd consider it. I know they don't have any applicants yet, as they've extended the deadline.

Eats, shoots and leaves

I had jury duty on Wednesday; I brought a book. The last chapter decried the internet and emoticons in particular. "What book would spurn those lovable smilies?" you ask. It was a book about punctuation (see title). I was hesitant about checking it out at all, but the brief bit I had read a few weeks ago was enough to sell me. I am now trying very hard to not desecrate the comma and friends in this post (it's much more difficult than I thought!). Did you know there are thirteen acceptable different uses for the comma alone? I bet you didn't! That's why you use it incorrectly. For a book that relied fairly heavily on British culture, I was able to follow it without much trouble- except this one passage about a pun. Basically the English language is falling apart and we shouldn't let it. So use proper punctuation! Periods are called "full stops" over there. Weird. Check it out, it was pretty funny, despite what the topic might connote. I was worried it'd turn me into too much of a stickler, but I don't have the resolve necessary to crusade like that given my time online.

Wash the car.

I dislike Prom. It is an antiquated puzzle of awkward teenagers pretending to be sophisticated adults in their last steps of childhood. I'm somewhat proud of that sentence. The flowers: What in the Hell? Wear them on your wrist? Why not! It is gaudy and an eyesore. Would you like your penis tacked onto a jacket with an enormous needle? If teens were more coordinated they wouldn't need a letteropener to skewer it, coupled with their embaressment at being unable to wield a sword, despite their aptitude at WoW, someone will be stabbed. My mother said that "a little courtship isn't a bad thing" or something similar. However, I maintain that Prom is not courtship! Sadie Hawkins, Winter Formal, and Homecoming could all be called courtship, but by the time Prom rolls around all capable students have well established a date for the event, well in advance, so far back as freshmen year for fear of rejection last minute. They know these people they are going with, the relationship, the expectations, the menu have all be prepared far in advance. By Prom night, Prom has already been worked through each mind several times, each scenario impossibly planned, prefected, and packaged in their minds with the only remaining execution is the enjoyment of the event. Prom is not courtship, it is the final steps of the mating dance, with its culmination in the hotel room that night. Those that will have already decided and those that won't. All relations involved adjusted beforehand. The ritual requires the fancy hair, the fancy clothes, the fancy dinner, and the fancy make-up for the finale, and they deliver. For me, this muligan of tonight has all the pricetags of last year, but with less reimbursement from parents, and again without the union. I don't mind that, but only having forty dollars left in my bank account is very worrying. I'll only have enough to fill the cadi once and search 200 miles to find employment before I'm sunk assuming an even three dollars a gallon, an average of 15mpg, and a fuel tank of 15 gallons. I most likely won't be given that car to drive, but I can't remember the stats for the others and the cadillac makes it all look very dismal. And I do love dismal. Plus I'm always nervous about seeing a different barber.

Prudes

This is the commercial that was deemed “inappropriate”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io1rkAmupwY&search=skechers
Those bastards. A whole 30 seconds. A strike for changing the channel with my watch after a prude couldn’t bare the immorality of a shoe commercial. There was no one else watching but me. Thanks for saving my soul, fucker.

Fuckers

God, I hate the people here. I can’t wait to get out. 22 days left.

I put on my cloak and wizard hat

The more I think about it, the more I equate blueballs to being the male equivalent to menstral cramps. I will thusforward refer to them as "mancramps" from now on, except when explaining what the term mancramps means.

I saw a coyote while I was on the bus!

I saw Chick Corea in concert last night. I wouldn't call the music they played jazz, but it was definately an evolved form of it. Corea likes to experiment with different styles and tries a new genre every few years. What ever style, it's usually inspired by L. Ron Hubbard and scientology. Last night was sort of an exposition on communication, and not really The Ultimate Adventure as his new cd claims. They were selling copies of the book that inspired the music, which was by Hubbard, in the lobby after the performance. They had a dancer. I don't think I can explain it further than that. It was neat, wish I had been more awake for it. I saw poorly dressed people, utah socialites, and just plain ugly mormons. The dancer got alot more applause than I would have anticipated given the audience, especially the guy who sat behind me and says "golly" as his primary swear. The best part was probably this t-shirt they were selling in the gift shop of Sheraton. And the worst was probably the 8 hours on a bus next to a girl who, although moderately attractive, will not shut up. She just goes on and on and on and on. Very much a turn off. The nice thing about this is that she has her sax lessons right before mine. Also when she called antelope "cows" because she thought it was cute to call deer cows and cows deer. But they were motherfucking antelope. Stupid Idahores.

Death

Someone died in my ward. I had never met the guy. I signed his card. I didn't want to. I felt weird doing it. I think my signature somehow cheapened it. Oh well, I've never met his family or anything, they live in Albania. It sucks for his room-mates, or does it? More room maybe? I wonder what the finacial ramifications will be for them. There's a fast for his friends and family tonight/tomorrow. I'm not into that, but i'll conform outwardly. The guy's cousin is still in the hospital, car crash.


This is my reminder to tell the head resident that I will be going to the chick corea concert on monday.


I've been playing quite a bit of Urban Dead recently, its fun.

Haircut

Singles Awareness Day is coming up and I don't really have anything planned. Not so far planned as it is a committment in itself. Singles Awareness Day sucks. I got a haircut, and now McBride is calling me Goose. It is a slow thursday. I predict a disgusting amount of proposals next week, which I expect to overhear about. Marriage isn't an optional thing here, it is a requirement. Girls act as though they deserve a proposal so much as the ring already belongs to them long before it is presented to them. There is a certain amount of destiny and fate in this religion despite it's supposed emphasis on free agency, especially with the eternal marriage stuff. Many people talk about finding the one although that is not a viewpoint exclusive to the church. Usually refered to as that special someone, the whole point of deifying them to the point of undermining freedom of choice to remove the factor of human error, that perhaps you just chose the wrong person. Afterall, they can't be "wrong" for you, if you were "meant" to be together for eternity. Yet, there are still lots of divorces in the church, even temple divorces. I just created that term. Marriage:divorce::temple marriage:temple divorce. Anyways, it really just irks me when girls say "She got her ring!" Her ring. The guy was the one that freaking bought it, bitch! For you, it was a gift, as in he had possession of it! Belonging to him! Just like she will! Not technically, but she's still commanded to be subservient to him. Its in The Family: A Proclaimation to the World. The father is head of household. Because this is the interweb, I won't fact check that; I feel that I am right and it bares truth unto me. In fact, it has to be true, because I feel it in my heart*.

Also, CoX is having a 2-week trial, for v-day. I don't know what to do with it. I miss that game, mostly playing it with friends, alone it wasn't as good. And yes, she is attempting to lick my discarded hair. I was itchy all day yesterday.


*Real Ultimate Power: The Offical Ninja Handbook, Robert Hamburger, pg 11.Kensington Publishing corp., New York. 2004.