I will be blogging a lot today...

More like whining. My mind is muddled, a sick combination of stimulants and sleep deprivation. My resting heart-rate is near the 100s. I'm always slightly adgitated. Did i spell that right? It is well. I've been thinking deep thoughts, I am lost in them. My mind is begining to hurt, my dendrites are stretched. I may be experiencing mild hallucinations, and i don't know why the first digit on my index finger is red and splotchy. Should i be concerned? Shall i be concerned? It would all be easier if i had something more concrete than rationalization, logic, and impressions. I don't like lying. I'm getting quite good at it. This place is bad for me in that way. I don't want to conform, but i don't want to rebel, so i have adapted. I don't think my mother would approve. Who would approve? Why did i type that. Don't drink the new mountain dew flavor MDX that has the black label. It is gross, has a sick aftertaste. I tried the sugar free kind last week and enjoyed it alot more. This one tastes more like an energy drink and a soda. I prefer soda, although i have little to compare it against. I don't like being graded for religion class. I know they try to make it simple: true or false honesty scripture reading and class attendence points and what not. But what it feels like its coming down to is an assessment of faith, one i don't want to give, but will lie to get. Have i no morals? No, not anymore...

I must now sort out some fiancial aid papers, i don't know whether i am relieved that they will prevent me from continuing my rampant thoughts. i suppose i am, but i am slightly annoyed that my roommate is still in bed as i wanted to practise with a recording and i don't like the hike to the practise rooms. oh well. there is only anoher week. i wish to try biofeed back. it intrigues me.