Hello: Again!

This is called Downward Social Comparison. I do it constantly. Perhaps it is indicative of low self-esteem on my part, or perhaps it just feels so damn good to know my situation is so vastly superior to some of my peers. That satisfaction is enhanced, nay, magnified, by one individual who rejected my awkward advances post-middle school. Sweeter still by its correlation to the book I am still procrastinating reporting on. I happened upon some pathetic, as they were, blogets (new word score!) on Myspace and it reminded me that I should be writing about this book and not procrastinating and now I'm sort of doing both. But that's OK (which is really annoying because it is inappropriate to Blogger unless completely capitalized, the word that is) you can read Vernal Promises yourself. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I actually disliked it more for being good than being bad. I sympathized with characters, I sympathized well. And I got like 34 out of 80 for Helping on that last career inventory survey. I don't care to help. Not for long at least. Whiners. Anyways, my reaction to the book!

I figure writing about will get me in the mood (just typed food there instead of mood, just like Pooh! oh God! what am i? what have i become??) to actually start writing on the book, perhaps a caffeine rush will initiate while we wait. Nay, we proceed! The book was unsettling. The protagonists struggles with faith, virtue, vice, all very real. The guilt, judgments, and shame so freely dispensed in this Mormon alcove were present in the book. The small town isolation is tangible, perhaps because I am now in a small town. Anyways, the atmosphere is great. Wahoo!.. While I do not feel I have indulged in any sins so great as those espoused in the novel, I can certainly appreciate the author's convention of them. Jacob and Pam, a young 'newly-wed-ish' couple, live in a trailer. Since the novel begins with a miscarriage from what would have been a child conceived out of wedlock, but birthed into one of those obligatory ones, the newly-wed attitude is not present. Indeed, they had their kicks and giggles before they were meant to. Pam, who becomes devoted to the cause, equates her miscarriage to God's punishment for their debauchery. The author seems to agree, their next 'attempt' at pregnancy goes much smoother, that is, successful, after she has begun living the tenets of The Gospel with her husband, but a lot of things happened between those points. I disagreed with some of the characterization, but I don't feel the desire to express it here or now, some of which has to do with my perception of inadequate research on the author's part (which I alluded to in a previous post). Anyways, I diverged from where I had been heading, but that is not a folly, as I will have to write extensively later/soon in either case. Mostly, the whole situation scares the shit out of me (parents rejoice!). Perhaps it is my knowledge of my own parents young marriage (living in a trailer, expelled from school, pariahs!)(complete with illegitimate-ish child)(order of operations!) that shocks me so deeply. Or my experience in a shitty grocery store job similar to Jacob's at the beginning of the novel. Thankfully, I do not feel tempted by the same vices that Jacob faces. Indeed, I make it a point to learn as much about drugs as I can (via wikipedia!), knowledge is power (school house rock ftw!). I extolled the virtues of LSD and the pains of heroin briefly to Mike in a previous round of procrastination. I know what I'm missing out on, and it doesn't sound that much better than the lucid dreams about current events I have now. I can escape into a fantasy world of heroes and villains easily enough if I must escape a harsh world, or just procrastinate hard. Yet, as I type this, I must realize I am a hypocrite for the amphetamines in my system now. I dope academically. I am shamed...








...but at least I am not Britany.