The Flaw in the Plan

"The true master of the Elder Wand was Draco Malfoy."

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, pg 743



Confirmed Deaths:

Bellatrix

Voldemort

Fred

Tonks

Lupin

Colin Creevy

Snape

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Must find...

Because otherwise, I'm just not living up to my potential. I sure hope I don't let any spoilers slip to my fanatical family. I, personally, do not really follow the series. I find that link "I have the hots for my stepson" much more intriguing than the novel itself. It's the leak that's intriguing. Time is pressed before I am forced to clean the kitchen instead!

Machinist: Tech Blog, Tech News, Technology Articles - Salon

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You

I started thumbing through my mother's new book, You: On A Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management. Of the many interesting things relayed in it, this jumped out at me(pg 49):

Stay-Va-Va-Va-Voom Satisfied. In any waist management plan, you can stay satisfied. Not in the form of a dripping double cheeseburger but in the form of a safe, healthy, monogamous sex. Sex and hunger are regulated through the brain chemical NPY. Some have observed that having healthy sex could help you control your food intake; by satisfying one appetite center, you seem to satisfy the other.

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Bash

I attended a lecture last night. It was a good time. Although it was a little frustrating how I kept navigating to the Gun Owners of South Carolina website instead of Geological Society of the Oregon Country. The lecture was entitled "Was Triceratops like a bison, rhino, or hippo: Implications for lifestyle and habitat". The lecture wasn't as expansive as I would have liked (he never compared the dentition of the animals) but consisted primarily of geographical and skeletal locomotive analysis. The whole time I kept thinking of this cybersex log from Bash.org:

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it

ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my

breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to

charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic

symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide

and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in

the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

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Well...

Conclusion

 

The
Armed Forces offer opportunity, challenge, and structure to young
adults. Some young adults with LD or AD/HD may be disqualified for
military service under current, regulations. For example, the current
use of medication to improve or maintain academic skills is
disqualifying.

 

THE ARMED FORCES AND ADD/ ADHD

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Lost Dream

I remembered the lost dream as I was swaying timidly in the shower, wary of the warmer water. I had trained a mischievous black kitten to smile on cue, making for an abundance of LOLcat captions which I would then create for the amusement of all, or whatnot. Damn LOLcats.

I guess there's a farewell party tonight. I wasn't invited and it'd be weird to show up unannounced. We were never that close anyways, I suppose. Each day I listen to my coworkers regale each other with stories of drunken stupors and misadventures that invariably end with inebriation. They will extol the virtues of various spirits and demons, and I nod along, knowing only what public education and public encyclopedias have told me. That same question comes up so often. I'm sick of it, but I know nothing else.

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Reruns

The Tom Leykis show was a rerun today, as yesterday, on two very hot days. Though still entertaining, I feel slowly more disillusioned with each episode. His opinions and advice are rebuffed daily by scores of young men such as myself. Am I so different? The truth seems inevitable, and dismal. Perhaps it's the heat speaking, but is that all there is? I'm exhausted.

I've been having weird dreams in my often fitful sleep. Vents in my room have recently become uncovered and I haven't established a sort of normalcy. I dreamed of a slightly anthropomorphic bull named "SmartCow" which walked upright like those from Barnyard and was blue. SmartCow fought for justice in a post-apocalyptic world with his sidekick "FirePig," a firebreathing pig that resembled the pig (Spider-pig!) shown in those previews for The Simpsons Movie. Firepig's attempts to incinerate Smartcow when they first met failed, even though Firepig tried to hard he actually began to rotate mid-air as if placed on some sort of rotisserie spit. It was an interesting night.

What other strange dreams have I had this week? I am trying to recall. I remember noting that they were strange and I should try to remember them so I could perhaps be interesting on the internet. Unlikely.

I had one last night whereupon finding my sister's boyfriend in our house before 12pm I told him it was a bad idea and when he asked why, I kicked him in the face! That was satisfying, although the kick did not connect as well as I would have hoped. I don't care for the guy, as he apparently mocks me when I am away, despite displays of civility when I am present. He quickly found my disfavor when I discovered this, and supposing I have any tenacity left, I might try to make his continued presence as uncomfortable as possible. Unlikely. I'm still limping from the castration my last relationship imparted me. Was I fired or laid off? I want to know.

I have some vague recollection of another dream that involved a friend returning from his mission and me trying to escape the confines of some complex in rexburg involving submarines and torpedos and peter was in it and I think this guy neal who I haven't spoken with in forever and may have knocked up his girlfriend which he was complaining about in my dream. It's all fuzzy. I remember having ninja skills. But that's just a manifestation of my undying passion for ninjas. I can't be certain where the rest of the fog came from. Perhaps the heat.

The ninja comment reminds me. I apparently have a membership at the Sherwood YMCA that I haven't redeemed with the possibility of a 12-week personal trainer. I know, me? A trainer? But am already a specimen of prowess and virility! But the whole breakup thing has had me rethinking my self concept. I'd never felt any desire to exercise before, I haven't a clue about it. My complete understanding of biceps and triceps comes from a middle school biology teacher who was eventually forced into early retirement for sexual harassment, so.. I'm hesitant to start, because, what do I do? I've never been one to jump in. I was thinking of finishing my survival guides and planning something along the advised line. You never can be too prepared for a zombie uprising. Is there any natural disaster that could possibly be worse? Doubtful. Thus preparing for the hordes of the undead is the best preparation possible. Anyways, perhaps I will say I want to be a ninja. I've got nothing to lose right?

Someone was surprised I remembered their birthday today.Why would I have forgetten someone's birthday? I'm not sure why this bothers me, but it does, like I've been written off somehow. I dislike it. It'd be so easy to conform to expectations. So easy..

My hat arrived today. I thought I'd be more excited. I'm not even that excited about dinner, and it's one of my favorites. The highlight of my day is the Rick Emerson Show.

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So Ha!

I want to say "Don't be hatin'", but I know I shouldn't.

NPR : Study: Virtual Games Hone Real Business Skills

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Happy Ending

'I like turtles' boy comes out of his shell after online frenzy | Entertainment & Lifestyle | kgw.com | News for Oregon and SW Washington

Spoiler!!!


























He gets a turtle!

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Listen!

You should listen to this excerpt from the wonderful Rick Emerson Show on AM 970. Wonderful.

Zombies

I have a few things to say, but this kid says them better.

Freedom!

My friends, the time has come. I was struck by an epiphany last night some time between seeing Transformers and Knocked Up, both of which were enjoyable, thank you. What was this revelation, you ask? It was the truth that I am in no way encumbered by trite doctrines of practicality that might prevent the advancement of my utilitarianism! Indeed, I did purchase my 4th remote control watch less than a fortnight ago, but that was no an increase in my functionality, which shall be my utmost goal. I have surveyed the nets, though not to an excess, to determine my next stride and I ask of you, humble Internets, to divine my next furtherance from a select candidacy with regards to their overall utility and versatility in numerous circumstances. I am feeling very well about this item. Indeed, I have contemplated the purchase of a simple hat since my habituation from employment. And while this item is also 'cool' it would not be practical at the time because of the RFID at the public works building. Ponder upon the price, but briefly, as it is of lesser concern now that I am free from the confines of a fiscal fidelity. I implore you, brave 'tubes, what shall be my next gadget? The items in pool 2 are not finalized but I beseech your opinion regardless.

Pool 1:

Option A
Option B
Pool 2:
Option A
Option B

Freaking babies!

Add this to list of reasons to not be a parent:

Babies not as innocent as they pretend | Science | Earth | Telegraph

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Graaaagh!

"I like how ever outfit conveniently covers their nipples so they don't have to animate them" My sister playing FFX
"Well yeah, nipple physics are hard." -Me

I thought that was clever.

Bush spares Libby from prison term - Politics - MSNBC.com

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Happy Canada Day!

Story time:

I woke up today, dreams of Weekend Edition, and was asked by my father, "Why did you break up with Kirsten?" I blinked. "I didn't" He was confused, as was I by the inquiry. "But Michelle said the opposite." I assured him I wouldn't have broken up with Kirsten. My parents later discussed this startling revelation as I prepared for zombie uprisings. I head my father ask, "If Derek thinks Kirsten broke up with him and Kirsten thinks he broke up with her, how broken up are they?" My mom replied, "If only it had been Amanda and Tom. They made me so sick last night with that lovey-dovey crap."

I'm so bored on the weekends now. I have nothing to do but play with my brother. I need more friends.. My life sucks. It didn't seem as lame before. At least I have lots of mountain dew. T-formers comes out this week! Yay. Brother wants the computer now. Good-night.

Flash » Happy Canada Day

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