I Don't Mean To Alarm...

Hark!The spoon is primarily for decoration, but also for stirring the equal distribution of pepperoni to cheez-it.

But this may be the most perfect meal to yet exist. I can't believe I didn't make it sooner!!

The Joy of Cooking

I like to think of myself as a man straddling dichotomizes. Somewhere between awesome and not awesome, pumped and not pumped, asshole and douchebag, I live. That said, I truly do not know I feel about what I am about to discuss.

There are two types of programs which completely captivate me. Those are cooking shows and painting shows. I don't paint or cook the sorts of foods featured, but I remain transfixed. I think it's something about the way the hosts' speech that absolutely lulls me. Some shows more than others. For example, I don't really care for America's Test Kitchen, although I'm so rarely watching television in the afternoon, and, fortunately, I don't have cable or I might remain transfixed on Food Network, so my consumption of these programs is limited. I also really dislike Rachel Ray; she is just to perky. Also, they really should have a painting network. I would watch that all day long.

That paragraph didn't really go where I was intending and I used too many appositives, but this is no mistake. It was a happy accident. I regret to say that I don't believe I had discovered the Joy of Painting until after Bob's death, although I choose to acknowledge his contributions by not buying those shirts that say "Happy Little Trees" at Target or wherever. It's the least I can do, really. This, however, leaves me conflicted. The ability to relive my favorite Bob Ross moments, although on a platform I don't own, is a little exhilarating, and probably will be a much more frugal choice than his prohibitively priced episodes. Fortunately for us all, they are also available on VHS, even though the format is no longer supported.

I would also like to point out that cooking shows have some of the best names ever.

Stuff White People Like

When I first saw this blog I thought it was pretty brilliant satire. Haha, this is funny, I'm glad I'm not a yuppie, and so on. But as I progressed, I found myself fitting more and more of the white people profile. I listen to public radio (#44) and I like The Daily Show/Colbert Report (#35), but when I saw number 38, I knew I was a white person, even though I don't like dogs (#53) or coffee (#1). Now I'll probably try to follow this list as much as possible just because of how much I love #50.

Picture Related.

#38 Arrested Development « Stuff White People Like

Peanut Butter & Banana Creme

They do exist. But why did I see them in a vending machine 6 months after the limited release? They don't list it any more in the Reese's product line.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Peanut Butter & Banana Creme - layered cup with top chocolate layer, bottom banana creme layer and peanut butter filling; released in summer 2007 in tribute to Elvis Presley; available in standard, Big Cups and Miniatures sizes

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Just when you thought knives couldn't get any cooler...

...you see Alton Brown holding them!



TomCruiseIsNuts.com

"Dear Tom Cruise,
Your lack of belief in the existence of clinical depression tells me one thing: you didn’t spend $10. to see War Of The Worlds. If vitamins can possibly help me out of this spiraling funk, please let me know which ones. Dinos? Pebbles? Freds? Please, I’m crying out for help."
- Alton Brown, Food Network host of Good Eats and Iron Chef America

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Delicious Nutrition

I had a dream a few nights ago that all my teeth fell out, scurvy-style. I don't think the dream as any sort of significance, prophetic or otherwise, and if my dreams do have merit, there are more pressing matters I should be concerned with. In any case, I've taken to downing a rather large amount of gummi multivitamins. It is a rather poor decision, but they are delicious! My rather poor logic dictates that I can survive a larger dosage than a child as I am much larger than any children I know, but I realize this is foolishness. If I soon perish, please blame the vitamins instead of the methylene blue.

Gummi bear - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Caffeinated Candy

It has rhino on it! Do you know what rhinos do?

(Protip: They don't play games.)

Well, I'm pumped.

Candy Co. Unveils Chocolate Bar With Caffeine - Entertainment News Story - WCVB Boston

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recommendations

I don't recommend sticking an entire roll of Fruit By The Foot in your mouth at once, even if it is the usually delicious Berry Tye Die. It is usually extremely delicious, but I almost spewed when I tried this. I've been almost throwing up a lot lately; actually did throw up last week. I'm not sick; well, I'm not ill. I have these two essays to write and I can't decide how or what to do, similar to the midterm last week that had me vomiting. Ugh. I'm all frizzle-frazzle. What's the point? I've already failed.

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