The orange penis is not ejaculating.
His genie is going back inside!
I Love Cheesy Poofs by Janene Jewsen
I like to imagine that jeperody is a state of peril where the risk is more comical than injurious.
I have mixed feelings towards doing posts like this that are primarily images as I am not a photographer my any stretch and I have trouble filling the gaps and explaining the context. Also, you look really weird whenever you take pictures in public with your phone. It's O.K., folks, I'm a blogger. This is citizen journalism at it's finest.
I don't know what to say. I like duct tape. I made a pair of slippers out of duct tape one time, but my mom threw them away. I was sad for like two days.
I've confessed my love for Amy Adams many times and I was very close to buying one of these coloring books, if only for the gag where I "accidentally" had it mixed in with the other mother's day gifts and then I take it back and am like "whoops" or something. It seemed funnier in my head. Anyways, I'm glad I didn't do it. Also the art really sucked in it.
With the exception of this. Hot.
I knew that once upon a time there existed David Bowie comics, but I was still surprised to see a KISS comic book. I wonder if it ties into their film. I was overcome with curiosity and began flipping through.
The photos are a little blurry, so you can buy it from the publisher here if you want a better image. I'm sure it's well worth it too; just look at the boobs in the next panel!
Don't let the art distract you from the clever dialogs. After you've said the line "He implants chips in us" there really isn't anywhere else to go but an incredibly obtuse euphemism for prostitution: "while we do our...um, thing." I have nothing else to say...
But don't worry. Platinum Studios knows what they're doing. This is a panel from further down the same page. It's a little blurry, but I think I can make out the text: We--We only go by-code names-- He is "Exciter". Also, check out the claws on his giant sausage fingers! There were more boobs and muscle-men fighting later, but I really thought that one page was the moneyshot. Of course, if KISS 4K can't satisfy you you might want to try...
Another Gene Simmons masterpiece! I didn't feel the need to flip through this one; I think the cover pretty much tells the whole story.
I saw these was very tempted to purchase the state of mind that can only come with thorough stool evaluation. It's be a bathroom reader, obviously. The red band on the rightmost book is so you can hang your poop diary from the toilet handle, for your convenience, of course. I'm not sure where you keep your pencil for writing all of your notes:
The pictures inside this pigeon book absolutely blew my mind. The pages were too glossy to capture, but if you see it, take a look for a moment. Pigeon hobbyists (is that the right word?) are at least three times as eccentric as any dog breeder. Unless there is a breed of dog genetically engineered to do backflips and then hunt down raptors to protect their retarded pets, I will never believe otherwise. Plus, you chose pigeons for a pet, so you're already pretty weird to begin with. Just look at how many there are!
I just noticed a new story on In Character: Catwoman. Which includes this quote from the king of camp, Adam West, describing the actresses who have played the part, "They all gave me curious stirrings in my utility belt." Oh, Adam...
I can hear in the other room that Oprah is talking about erectile dysfunction and vasectomies, (and other urogenital health issues I assume). I'm not really that interested in finding out, although I wonder if the episode implies that Oprah has some silent male demographic, previously undiscovered, living in a remote jungle or someplace ever more exotic. They do call him Dr. Oz. I took some class, titled Media and the Presence of Reality or something similar; it was a philosophy class filled with idiots of the highest caliber. It was painful at times, although I found the day we talked about Oprah, and watched her on her dvd, unintentionally lulzy (which is the best kind). One of the essay topics for the final was on Oprah and about how whether talkshows like hers provide a vital public service or merely suppose to and the consequences such. When she talked about Middlesex, I can imagine that being in the best interest of the public, but then she interviews Hannah Montana? I cannot fault her; her format is widely successful and popular, although the testimonials on the dvd did her no service. One of which claimed that she had planned to kill herself until she saw that days episode of Oprah and changed her mind. This perhaps speaks more to the mental condition of this viewer (or all viewers?) than the power of the format and I further wonder why so late in the day? It's not over until like 5pm here. I instead chose to write about reality television in an essay of dubious quality. I do not doubt, having edited a cohort's work for a group project, that on the basis of grammar alone, that my paper will receive adequate marks. I've been informed that the audience in the episode which inspired this tangent is entirely male. More questions to ponder!
I was going to write something about how Enchanted may have broken my families Eckhart spree. I never should have told them that he was Mormon. They seemed more skeptical when I shared similar knowledge of Julianne Hough. She doesn't dress like it! They retorted. Of course, this paragraph wouldn't be complete without mentioning that Amy Adams was, and so was Katherine Heigl, but these things don't mean anything. Except that I'll have a good ice-breaker should I ever met Amy Adams or Ryan Gosling.
This may become my new favorite picture of McCain. It's too soon to tell. He does love the thumbs up. It must be his go-to victory pose. That makes a lot of sense now that I think about it; The V might be difficult for him. But I've seen at least 3 pictures of him doing the fonz.
I found the image using the search engine Answers.com. I didn't expect it either, so take that! By this point the search itself had become more important than the image. I even looked at gossip sites thinking it might have been posted there if deemed too unsavory for other outlets to publish. They are both attractive women, don't get me wrong, but I still find Jenna Fischer, among others, much more attractive than either of them. I would feel bad if I didn't link to the website where I found them.
The payoff was rather weak compared to the amount of time searching, although I have honed my search-fu in this adventure (level up!). The real loot was found here in the pictures of Finding Nemo on ice. Even with watermarks, I find them amusing.
I'd been waiting to post that piece of Team Fortress humor for a while. Now some more Orange Box!
I love Weighted Companion Cube!
"Dear Tom Cruise,
Your lack of belief in the existence of clinical depression tells me one thing: you didn’t spend $10. to see War Of The Worlds. If vitamins can possibly help me out of this spiraling funk, please let me know which ones. Dinos? Pebbles? Freds? Please, I’m crying out for help."
- Alton Brown, Food Network host of Good Eats and Iron Chef America
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Kinda sad how I use blogger as a shortcut to post images in myspace comments, but it works pretty well for it.
