Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I saw a coyote while I was on the bus!

I saw Chick Corea in concert last night. I wouldn't call the music they played jazz, but it was definately an evolved form of it. Corea likes to experiment with different styles and tries a new genre every few years. What ever style, it's usually inspired by L. Ron Hubbard and scientology. Last night was sort of an exposition on communication, and not really The Ultimate Adventure as his new cd claims. They were selling copies of the book that inspired the music, which was by Hubbard, in the lobby after the performance. They had a dancer. I don't think I can explain it further than that. It was neat, wish I had been more awake for it. I saw poorly dressed people, utah socialites, and just plain ugly mormons. The dancer got alot more applause than I would have anticipated given the audience, especially the guy who sat behind me and says "golly" as his primary swear. The best part was probably this t-shirt they were selling in the gift shop of Sheraton. And the worst was probably the 8 hours on a bus next to a girl who, although moderately attractive, will not shut up. She just goes on and on and on and on. Very much a turn off. The nice thing about this is that she has her sax lessons right before mine. Also when she called antelope "cows" because she thought it was cute to call deer cows and cows deer. But they were motherfucking antelope. Stupid Idahores.

Sunday, February 12, 2006


Someone died in my ward. I had never met the guy. I signed his card. I didn't want to. I felt weird doing it. I think my signature somehow cheapened it. Oh well, I've never met his family or anything, they live in Albania. It sucks for his room-mates, or does it? More room maybe? I wonder what the finacial ramifications will be for them. There's a fast for his friends and family tonight/tomorrow. I'm not into that, but i'll conform outwardly. The guy's cousin is still in the hospital, car crash.

This is my reminder to tell the head resident that I will be going to the chick corea concert on monday.

I've been playing quite a bit of Urban Dead recently, its fun.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


Singles Awareness Day is coming up and I don't really have anything planned. Not so far planned as it is a committment in itself. Singles Awareness Day sucks. I got a haircut, and now McBride is calling me Goose. It is a slow thursday. I predict a disgusting amount of proposals next week, which I expect to overhear about. Marriage isn't an optional thing here, it is a requirement. Girls act as though they deserve a proposal so much as the ring already belongs to them long before it is presented to them. There is a certain amount of destiny and fate in this religion despite it's supposed emphasis on free agency, especially with the eternal marriage stuff. Many people talk about finding the one although that is not a viewpoint exclusive to the church. Usually refered to as that special someone, the whole point of deifying them to the point of undermining freedom of choice to remove the factor of human error, that perhaps you just chose the wrong person. Afterall, they can't be "wrong" for you, if you were "meant" to be together for eternity. Yet, there are still lots of divorces in the church, even temple divorces. I just created that term. Marriage:divorce::temple marriage:temple divorce. Anyways, it really just irks me when girls say "She got her ring!" Her ring. The guy was the one that freaking bought it, bitch! For you, it was a gift, as in he had possession of it! Belonging to him! Just like she will! Not technically, but she's still commanded to be subservient to him. Its in The Family: A Proclaimation to the World. The father is head of household. Because this is the interweb, I won't fact check that; I feel that I am right and it bares truth unto me. In fact, it has to be true, because I feel it in my heart*.

Also, CoX is having a 2-week trial, for v-day. I don't know what to do with it. I miss that game, mostly playing it with friends, alone it wasn't as good. And yes, she is attempting to lick my discarded hair. I was itchy all day yesterday.

*Real Ultimate Power: The Offical Ninja Handbook, Robert Hamburger, pg 11.Kensington Publishing corp., New York. 2004.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


Of all the grievances I have with my religion and my religious schools. Perhaps the one I despise the most is The Honor Code. This invisible fense, not a guardrail, is posted everywhere to remind us to "I-Honor It". I was "observed in violation" of it today. Evidently my "beard" is too long, according to the slip. Strangely, the authority figure said my hair was too long, nothing about my facial hair, and then proceeded to underline the section of the blue slip (that tells you your sin) that talks about "earrings and other body piercing". Damn those nipple rings! Always getting me introuble! Poor Jesus would never be allowed on campus with those hippie locks, freedom stubble, and open-toed shoes.

As you can see, my biggest crime against God here is acne and a poorly photographed expression that makes my jaw look deformed.

Sometimes I like to think of our little mormonism as the Islam of America with its rigid division of the sexes, plural marriage (its never refered to in-house as polygamy; and isn't officially sanctioned anymore) and holy cities. I do regret that we aren't as militant. We get instructed to do alot of things and fulfilling a fatwa against ye ole abortion clinic seems alot more fun than family home evening, which blows. It's been far too long since rioted over foreign publications.

Sunday, February 05, 2006


I don't watch the superbowl after the wardrobe malfunction. The stir it caused ensured that all future reditions would not be as exciting. I spent the day reading wikipedia entries. I particularly enjoyed the page about the Mermaid Problem, that being that you can't have sex with them. When I told kirsten about it, she misheard "Roommate Problem" instead, leading to some hilarity. I also found that they have a page about Century High School. Remember, anyone can edit!