Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Wash the car.

I dislike Prom. It is an antiquated puzzle of awkward teenagers pretending to be sophisticated adults in their last steps of childhood. I'm somewhat proud of that sentence. The flowers: What in the Hell? Wear them on your wrist? Why not! It is gaudy and an eyesore. Would you like your penis tacked onto a jacket with an enormous needle? If teens were more coordinated they wouldn't need a letteropener to skewer it, coupled with their embaressment at being unable to wield a sword, despite their aptitude at WoW, someone will be stabbed. My mother said that "a little courtship isn't a bad thing" or something similar. However, I maintain that Prom is not courtship! Sadie Hawkins, Winter Formal, and Homecoming could all be called courtship, but by the time Prom rolls around all capable students have well established a date for the event, well in advance, so far back as freshmen year for fear of rejection last minute. They know these people they are going with, the relationship, the expectations, the menu have all be prepared far in advance. By Prom night, Prom has already been worked through each mind several times, each scenario impossibly planned, prefected, and packaged in their minds with the only remaining execution is the enjoyment of the event. Prom is not courtship, it is the final steps of the mating dance, with its culmination in the hotel room that night. Those that will have already decided and those that won't. All relations involved adjusted beforehand. The ritual requires the fancy hair, the fancy clothes, the fancy dinner, and the fancy make-up for the finale, and they deliver. For me, this muligan of tonight has all the pricetags of last year, but with less reimbursement from parents, and again without the union. I don't mind that, but only having forty dollars left in my bank account is very worrying. I'll only have enough to fill the cadi once and search 200 miles to find employment before I'm sunk assuming an even three dollars a gallon, an average of 15mpg, and a fuel tank of 15 gallons. I most likely won't be given that car to drive, but I can't remember the stats for the others and the cadillac makes it all look very dismal. And I do love dismal. Plus I'm always nervous about seeing a different barber.

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