I didn't go today. I probably should have, but it was easier to roll over, easier to hide. There is only one more week, not including today, of regular church services, after that is general conference. That counselor wants to meet with me again, I'm not planning on going. I have nothing to say to him. There has been no "progress", only more questions. I've realized that any acceptance of their truth requires a fundamental rejection of other truths, some of which I hold dear. They purport to have the fullness, but there are still revelations to be had, perhaps they mean _fullest_; it is so often confused! Perhaps I am confusing the official doctrine on the claims of accuracy with regards to exclusive rights of revelations and such with the assertions of the members, who often know little but speak much of it, or something clever like that. Imagine I wrote something clever there. In any case, such devotion requires a disavowal of other truths, as the Gospel is quite exclusive, to the whites until the seventies or so. Perhaps I am wrong about that date, I have not been keeping up with the lessons on President Kimball. If all it takes a personal revelation of truth manifested as a warm sensation, then I shall bare testimony in this moment with great certainty that ninjas are alive and well today! I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.Also Snakes on Planes. But the world may disagree with that. We're supposed to live in the world but not be of it. I suppose that makes me peculiar.
I am somewhat pressed for time, desiring to be clear of the premises before any of my more devout roommates can come home and pressure me to attend whatever obligations I was not informed of prior. Oh, the pressure. I hate it most. I flee from it, and shall shortly. That shall be my official excuse. After all, I have nothing new to report. Of new things, I have something old I'd like to share. I wrote it last fall, late at night. My final project was due in a religion class (which I am now retaking, got a D- the first time :-)) the next day and like always, I had procrastinated, hard. I used some extra discipline that night; it was a peculiar experience. In the course of writing, I had, perhaps, an epiphany, of sorts. I only recently typed it up. Whether it was inspired by spirits or demons, I present it to you, Internets. I don't know what else to say about it, it was an interesting experience, like my hand was writing on its own. Thoughts flooded my mind. There are at least two paged filled with scribbles, I couldn't make them all out, but this is what I did. Anyways, here it is. Be gentle.
What if Christ’s Plan is tentative? Subject to Change An Active Dynamic
Maybe it is like a game to them. Some sort of war/strategy game for the souls of men or just for fun Could the Christ + AntiChrist be friends? Rivals? Our Doctrine says that they are Brothers. Perhaps They were these things at some point. How can a Messiah who loves everyone make an exception for HIS enemy when he says we must love ours Would the Christ save the AntiChrist? Is a Christ completely necessary? Can you Atone for your own sins? Take them yourself? You committed them, shouldn’t you be the one punished for them. Was Jesus the first to claim Divinity? Does or could the atonement cover those that did not receive bodies? If we are all children of 1 GOD including Christ + the AntiChrist, all made in his image then must’nt In God have been some aspect of us? If we are all from Him wouldn’t We also be in a way a part of Him or at least some aspect of ourselves? Including Christ + the AntiChrist? Does GOD himself contain all things both good + evil as the system he created does? Duality of God Are the natures of good + evil limited strictly to humans or sentient beings? Or simply living things or can objects of symbols like a gun or a flag have a divine moral standing. Could these or would these things be held responsible or punished or what not for the actions they facilitate? What about those people that lived so far long ago, the virtuous pagans who died without hearing “the gospel?” Do they receive another chance to hear it? Just reincarnated until they get the chance to make a choice, in a way being immortal until they decide to not be immortal or saved + whatnot, would such people even be people? For why would they exist if not to gain eternal life? And if they had no chance to save their souls, yet they did live and eat + breed then did they really have or need souls at all? And if the body + spirit are an eternally linked unit, supposing such people did
Reoccur until they could exercise their agency
What of their body’s? Surely, there are people alive today that will never hear our gospel, yet they live, why? Will they continue until they reach it or must they learn it all in paradise/prison
Could reattempts to hear the gospel be the cause of over population? As more and more spirits run back up to ride the slide again? What about those that lived in the Dark ages under the Great +
If He felt all the pain and suffering, Did He feel all the joy and Happiness too? Wouldn’t that be necessary to be our Mediator?