Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


The Tom Leykis show was a rerun today, as yesterday, on two very hot days. Though still entertaining, I feel slowly more disillusioned with each episode. His opinions and advice are rebuffed daily by scores of young men such as myself. Am I so different? The truth seems inevitable, and dismal. Perhaps it's the heat speaking, but is that all there is? I'm exhausted.

I've been having weird dreams in my often fitful sleep. Vents in my room have recently become uncovered and I haven't established a sort of normalcy. I dreamed of a slightly anthropomorphic bull named "SmartCow" which walked upright like those from Barnyard and was blue. SmartCow fought for justice in a post-apocalyptic world with his sidekick "FirePig," a firebreathing pig that resembled the pig (Spider-pig!) shown in those previews for The Simpsons Movie. Firepig's attempts to incinerate Smartcow when they first met failed, even though Firepig tried to hard he actually began to rotate mid-air as if placed on some sort of rotisserie spit. It was an interesting night.

What other strange dreams have I had this week? I am trying to recall. I remember noting that they were strange and I should try to remember them so I could perhaps be interesting on the internet. Unlikely.

I had one last night whereupon finding my sister's boyfriend in our house before 12pm I told him it was a bad idea and when he asked why, I kicked him in the face! That was satisfying, although the kick did not connect as well as I would have hoped. I don't care for the guy, as he apparently mocks me when I am away, despite displays of civility when I am present. He quickly found my disfavor when I discovered this, and supposing I have any tenacity left, I might try to make his continued presence as uncomfortable as possible. Unlikely. I'm still limping from the castration my last relationship imparted me. Was I fired or laid off? I want to know.

I have some vague recollection of another dream that involved a friend returning from his mission and me trying to escape the confines of some complex in rexburg involving submarines and torpedos and peter was in it and I think this guy neal who I haven't spoken with in forever and may have knocked up his girlfriend which he was complaining about in my dream. It's all fuzzy. I remember having ninja skills. But that's just a manifestation of my undying passion for ninjas. I can't be certain where the rest of the fog came from. Perhaps the heat.

The ninja comment reminds me. I apparently have a membership at the Sherwood YMCA that I haven't redeemed with the possibility of a 12-week personal trainer. I know, me? A trainer? But am already a specimen of prowess and virility! But the whole breakup thing has had me rethinking my self concept. I'd never felt any desire to exercise before, I haven't a clue about it. My complete understanding of biceps and triceps comes from a middle school biology teacher who was eventually forced into early retirement for sexual harassment, so.. I'm hesitant to start, because, what do I do? I've never been one to jump in. I was thinking of finishing my survival guides and planning something along the advised line. You never can be too prepared for a zombie uprising. Is there any natural disaster that could possibly be worse? Doubtful. Thus preparing for the hordes of the undead is the best preparation possible. Anyways, perhaps I will say I want to be a ninja. I've got nothing to lose right?

Someone was surprised I remembered their birthday today.Why would I have forgetten someone's birthday? I'm not sure why this bothers me, but it does, like I've been written off somehow. I dislike it. It'd be so easy to conform to expectations. So easy..

My hat arrived today. I thought I'd be more excited. I'm not even that excited about dinner, and it's one of my favorites. The highlight of my day is the Rick Emerson Show.

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