Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

All blues

No, I wasn't. I didn't mean to. Really. It was never the game: it was the escape to a world where you could chose not to go on missions, not worry about what your family would think of you, and talk to friends. You always seemed so busy. I suppose it's too late to dissuade. I wanted to stay awake, I couldn't help that I was exhausted. I liked falling asleep on your lap while you played with my hair. I wish you would have said something. I was irrational. All day, in the sun, cutting grass, thinking about the future. What future did I have? I was not going back to a school where something was perpetually wrong with me. The only 20 year old male at Ricks. That'd be a fun role to play. It was depressing. I guess I took my frustration out on you. It was wrong of me. I thought I was trying, but I am a chronic underachiever. You didn't expect too much. It wasn't your fault. If I ever tried to be affectionate, you just wanted to hold my hand. The gas was just an excuse, I hated your dog. I like your family, with that exception. I didn't like being begged and/or violated. I wish I had had some friends to turn to, but I have to go to Paragon City to talk to them, and that's a problem. I failed. You're better off without me, but I am nothing without you. I've drug you down too long. Just be happy.

I really did want to go to the beach too. I mean that. Even on double experience weekend. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

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