Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I can't believe

I used to do this every night?! I can hardly believe it. I took 25mg, which is 5mg higher than any dose I ever took (at once); I feel like I'm going to die. But that feeling (or is it the fear of death?) undulates. My heart pounding, joints burning, mouth dry and jaws clenched. I'd forgotten what it was like. I think I made the right decision. I don't care for these side effects much, although I don't mind the clarity, euphoria, and placebo confidence. I don't consider this experience to be anything against my streak, because it is not being used to augment myself but is instead a more recreational undertaking. I've also noticed a slightly diminished sex drive. I had never noticed that side effect before; it was the norm. Not that having sex is anywhere on my agenda.

Grid Wars is a lot more fun when you're jazzed. I played for like 2 hours straight, which is braggable.

Its 4.30 am. I should probably at least feign sleep. I don't need a relapse to bring any more disappointments? Damn it! I just added a misspelling of disappointment to the dictionary. Fouled dictionaries are another topic I should address at some point. I struggle putting sentences together at 4am, no matter my condition. I surrender my words to you, Blogger.

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