Wafflecone

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Gladiators

I have a fondness for camp and kitschy things. I've fallen in love with the new American Gladiators series NBC is putting out now. It's terrible in the most wonderful ways. I haven't found any youtube clips from the show to illustrate this, but I did find this from the original series, CELEBRITY EDITION. I cannot wait until this series gets to that point, which we all know it will, nay, it must.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Yes, but...

...how do you get them to let you groom them?

Wired News - AP News

This is how the Zombie War begins...

I've just started World War Z, which begins in the same place I've been hearing stories about on the radio and a week after seeing I am Legend. I've made a huge mistake...

NPR : Three Gorges History Drowning in Rising Reservoir

The ancient village of Dachang was once full of picturesque cobbled streets and ancient wooden temples. Now the village had been reconstituted uphill as a sort of theme park. Workers lay new cobblestones, as men dressed up as Qing Dynasty soldiers guard the gates.

"We feel very proud because the government has spent all this money to move the village," says village employee Lei Haoming. "This means that it will not be submerged, but preserved for people to see in the future, and so we feel that our culture has been well preserved."

As is often the case in China, replication is often confused with historic preservation. The main difference, of course, is that no actual residents live here anymore. They've been relocated so as to facilitate the business of separating tourists from their money.

Dead pool Regrets

I can't change my dead pool, but I regret that I didn't include three individuals whose death seems increasingly likely upon consideration:

Fidel Castro
Elizabeth Edwards
Nouri Maliki

Friday, January 04, 2008

The Super Monkey

Oh My...

Beppo (comics) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Autotroph

In the Lois and Clark universe, Superman doesn't need to eat, but does so out of pleasure. This would make him an autotroph. If I was an autotroph, I would never eat because then I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom!

KHAAAAAAN!!

I'm watching Lois and Clark on dvd right now. It's deliciously campy. There's a pun around every turn! This man, Tony Jay, plays Lex Luthor's butler, an evil Alfred almost. I couldn't place where I heard his voice until I looked him up. I thought he was Shere Khan from The Jungle Book, but he wasn't in the movie. This was disappointing until I figured out I knew him as Shere Khan from TaleSpin, which used the characters from the Jungle Book, which were also used in Robin Hood. Really, Disney just loved to use Phil Harris. Anyways, I was sad to learn that Megabyte died two years ago, on my sister's birthday, no less! That show taught me all I know about how computers work. I'll always remember the time he tried to carve his face into the moon...

Tony Jay

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Relief

I haven't felt this horrible since winter 2005 when I had some sort of uber-cold that knocked me down for several weeks. Let's hope this isn't so bad. I had many more responsibilities then as well. I had also just traveled. I'm not sure where this one came from. I guess I should be glad no one invited me to do anything last night for New Years, or I'd probably be doing much worse. In fact I asked someone what they were doing in a desperate attempt to sidekick someone. Or something. I'm rather zonky. I blame the NyQuil. I think I'm going to go watch some more Boston Legal.

2008 Dead Pool

This is my 2008 Dead pool. Make your own list of notable people to suspect of death in the coming year! The person with the most deaths at the end of the year win!

Top Ten Picks

Don Rickles
Kirk Douglas
Gordon B Hinkley
Stan Lee
Bob Barker
Barbara Bush
Micheal J Fox
Stephen Hawking
Gloria Steinem
Dick Clark

Bonus 5

Sidney Poitier
Jimmy Carter
Margaret Thatcher
Britney Spears
Ted Stevens

Monday, December 31, 2007

Zombie Rain

This macro combines several of my favorite things.

Zoo Years

I heard on KGW that admission to the Oregon Zoo was free today, for some reason. MAX is also free for the holiday. If I had known a little sooner, I might have been going (alone). As it stands, it is cold and I don't really want to be the only sober person riding light rail. The gates close at 8, though it stays open 'til 9 once you are there, unless you are staying the night.

Oregon Zoo Education: I Love the Zoo Overnight

Conflicts

Dentist

I just got back from the dentist.

I hate the dentist.

I also hate the Dennis Miller Show, but it directly precedes The Rick Emerson Show.

I like that my dentist appointment only took about half an hour. That is probably my favorite part of visiting the dentist. Half an hour twice a year, or a total one hour a year. It's not too bad when you think about it that way. Also when it's in the morning and you only have brush your teeth and hop in the car.

I hate the music they play in the background. Today it was some easy listening station, KISN? I have no idea. They started playing "That Don't Impress Me Much" and they hygienist started humming along. That song came out in '99. Last century. I still knew all the words.
You can't hear the music when they have the tools in your mouth. That bothers me. Also the tools in my mouth, I don't care for that. It's not a matter of comfort, but it feels far to vulnerable to me, and I keep thinking "THIS IS NOT NATURAL" and wanting to die a natural death at age 50 like an elephant. Elephants are cool. My father tried to teach me the importance of proper dental hygiene using the elephant. You see, the elephant dies of starvation when they lose their last set of molars. If they could brush their teeth, they would live much longer, my dad explained. Unfortunately this metaphor did not have the desired effect. Nature intended us to die when we lose our teeth. Dentistry, I concluded, is contrary to God's Will.

The discomfort of the dentist visit is compounded by my age. The main dentist, he has a sidekick now, is Mormon, as are the majority of the hygienists, and similarly, the patients. I went to the receptionist's son's missionary farewell last year. Being 21, having not served a mission, makes this a little awkward. Just a bit.
A few years ago I was assigned to some church committee to plan stake youth activities. I never really did much and honestly, I probably wouldn't have gone to more than one of the meetings if there wasn't this amazingly beautiful girl also on the committee. I saw her today, dressed in the same scrubs as the hygienists. I looked horrible, as I always do before noon, even more so than usual because I got so little sleep last night. I maintained my composure. I will fade from her short term memory as an unkempt man in pajamas pants and a gray hat. My hat kicks ass.

I think I will get a hair cut today.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

I was saving that bacon

Friday, December 28, 2007

Cats Don't Dance

I was reminded of this movie, which I believe my family has lost, tonight by those weird pre-movie quasi-trailers. I can't remember what the announcement was about, maybe snackes? Anyways, it had dancing cats with cleavage and other flavors of hep. It looks like someone has loaded the entire movie on the youtube if you want to watch it.