Ten Days to Singles Awareness Day

I'd be more tempted to see this if I hadn't been so let down by Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

I dugg this a while ago, and apparently it happened in Texas. The maintenance worker quoted seemed more concerned about the traffic risks than the false zombie alarm. Clearly, they have their priorities mixed up. Also based on my experience in public works, I don't believe they really locked up the sign.

iDeadpool

This was my birthday breakfast. It was delicious. I'd like to thank Holy Taco for the amazing idea.

I'd like to begin 2009 by asking for a moratorium on using pronouns as prefixes. It's ridiculous and it needs to end. It doesn't making your product seem more hip. Stop it.

I only seem to blog when I'm procrastinating, although I maintain my moblog and twitter accounts fairly consistently. I've been meaning to muse on some things for the past month and I've probably forgotten most of them by now. I'll try to address a few of them.

Wrapping the year up: One person on my 2008 deadpool passed, Gordon Hinkley. I'm really rather disapointed in myself given the impressive number of deaths in the past year. I'm hoping to do better this year, as morbid as that is. Clearly, I don't want any of these people to die, but I also like being right and feeling slightly prophetic. You can play along at home too! Just write down the top ten notable people you feel may expire in the coming year. The person with the most deceased on their list at the end of the year gets the satisfaction of knowing they're responsible for the world being a little less bright. It's fun!

On blogging: I made 264 posts on this blog, passing the 500 and 700 post marks. I also created my moblog, which has over 3,500 posts of useless thoughts, and a comblog(?) which is a bit of both? I'll probably add a twitter widget to that eventually too, likely instead of writing a paper of some sort.

Today's procrastination is buying textbooks. Although I'm excited for the new semester, I don't especially care to get dressed, instead savoring having the apartment to myself. I'm taking one class on television genres, which I've very much looking forward to. Perhaps it will be like this South Park class? Or perhaps we will touch on Buffy Studies. I'm just excited I'll be reading House and Philosophy, although much less to be Reading Sex and the City, but I'm sure it will be interesting.

Finally, here's my 2009 Deadpool:

Deadpool '09

Les Paul

Sasha Grey
Van Morrison
Marian McPartland
James D. Watson
Ursula K. Le Guin
Patrick Swayze
Steve Jobs
Gene Wilder

Jack Kevorkian

See also: Holy Taco's Top 5 '09 Deadpool

Game Over

I'd just like to point out that one of the fifth place contender(s) in that American Apparel costume contest I mentioned before was a series of Tetris blocks. Though I didn't include any of their products in my costume and was thus ineligible (I didn't have time to buy tights), think my costume is superior since it lacks the goofy looking face windows that totally detract realism. My actual only complaint, besides the inherent loneliness of being the only block, is how hot the costume got, which was a very nice considering the weather. Fortunately it didn't rain, though I'm confident it would have held up pretty well. I was happy with it. If I can find appropriete boxes and approprietely sized friends, I might try to make more. I got the boxes for free from Target, Party City, and a few others (most places have a surplus that just get recycled although it took a while to find matching sizes). Overall, it ended up costing less than twenty five dollars with the primary expense being the three rolls of white duct tape I went through. I posted pictures on my mobile blog as I went. Drunk pedestrians really enjoyed the costume. Many wanted to talk about it, or at least confirm that I was, in fact, the greatest video game character evar, which was difficult for me as I wanted to stay in character. The L-Block doesn't speak, though I would occasionally awkwardly pantomime with my torso and legs. The strangest adjulations proclaimed their hatred of rubix cubes.

Still no word from the league btw

This was my Halloween costume. It's not as original as everyone thought.

I missed it. Actually, I didn't know Portland had one. Ugh. I can't say I would have tried to attend had I known. I know I don't want to miss Zompire this spring. I'm also a little disappointed that I can't make it to Live Wire! this weekend. I'd love to see John Hodgman and Jonathon Coulton.

And no other girls can say anything about it

This is so amazing. More amazing: instructions.

I went to the local Spirit Halloween store the other day. Although I didn't get anything for myself, I was very much tempted by this. The past year I stayed home and handed out candy dressed as a ninja. It's a costume of convenience I've used in years past. When I'm not sneaking in them, I use the ninja sweatpants for lounging. I've always loved the costume aspect of the holiday the most and picked outfits as a youth that I knew I'd like to play with or wear later (jealous!). I'd love to try to make my own costume now that I have some sewing proficiency, but time and money make it difficult. However, I am in love with these recycled costumes. Even better, some of the creators have shared instructions so you can try to make one too. I'm not sure how cute I'd look in an umbrella bat costume. Also, people who use umbrellas are pansies.

Look for Leo Trotsky: Superstar next year

I did very little today. I guess I added some people on FaceSpace, but I'm not sure that's an accomplishment, even during spring break. I woke up a little late and watched this show, Masterminds, which was pretty interesting. It chronicles heists and the like and how the masterminds behind them carried them out and eventually got caught, usually through no fault of their own but a random variable they could never have accounted for. I'd be more interested in seeing the guys who get away with it, but that's unrealistic.

Speaking of unrealistic things, I just got back from another night of the Faux Film Festival, which I mentioned before (shameless back referencing!). Aside from some weird weather, it was great once again. We arrived a little late and missed the first bit of Piggyback, which was amazing. The director was there for a Q&A (from which the title of this post is derived) after the shorts and I told him I liked his film and got a copy of the cards featured in the film. There were two shorts by group called Cleverscripts and even a few animated features, all enjoyable. Some of the most enjoyable, specifically one called Box Wars, I lack the search-fu to find, or they simply may not have a web presence. The interesting thing about Box Wars, id est suits and weapons made of cardboard, is that it is apparently very real, which makes its inclusion in the satire night all the more delicious. Some perhaps buried under other things with similar names (I wish I could refer people to you, Stalls, but your name is just too generic). I need to link to the homepage of Expendable, which was absolutely amazing, before I embed the video below and I don't know that the creator's of either On Poisoning Birds or Torsten Kretchzmar: I Know What Girls Like have websites, although you can view their videos on YouTube. One of the film festivals Expendable has been featured in uploaded it to YouTube (see below), although there are additional videos you should definitely check out.



Next was the movie Sexina: Popstar P.I. which was probably the campiest movie I've ever seen. I loved it. I really don't know what to say about it. I mean, it had Adam West in it and a plot that included robots, ninjas, and a bear--but not all at once, sadly. Now that I think about it, there was quite a bit a leather too. I got a piece of popcorn stuck in my teeth and that bothered me for like the whole second act. Still bothering me actually. Brb, floss.

You can read Steve's account of the evening here. Apparently, this blagonet thing is catching on.

Faux Post

I just got back from the 4th Annual Faux Film Festival held in the historic Hollywood Theatre. I feel I should mention I heard about it here so I can add the public broadcasting tag to this post. This, of course, meant taking the Metro Access Express, but I'll get to that in a moment. As the name suggests, the festival revolves around "Spoofs, Satires, Parodies, Mocumentaries." Tonight they showed Faux Commercials and Movie Spoofs, tomorrow will be Satire and Parody, Sunday will be SciFi/Horror. I'll probably post about those nights too.

The evening was divided into two parts, short films and a feature. There were about 20 short films shown in the first segment, followed by a Q&A with some of the directors and brief intermission and then Being Michael Madsen. Some of the shorts were not short enough, and others were of amazing quality (specifically one German film that I can't seem to locate). I've embedded two of the best below and a link to a third here.

I was surprised by the Michael Madsen film. The title is a little misleading; it has nothing to do with either Being John Malkovich or Being Julia. At first, I didn't know where it was going and it took me an embarassing amount of time to realize that this was Mr. Blonde. I'm not entirely certain I have the jargon to describe this film. I want to say deconstructionist or something, but I don't know the correct words. It was weird and for the first half hour (at least) it was just talking heads like a traditional documentary, but then it really got going with a documentary within a documentary. It had layers to it and most of the action is told rather than seen. I really enjoyed it, but I also really enjoy Christopher Guest films so you should use that as a barometer. It also had a brief appearance by Lacey Chabert, whom I always find agreeable.

What I find less agreeable is teenagers shouting things on the MAX, but what can I do? Eavesdrop, laugh at them secretly, and text humorous observations to my moblog? Yep.

The Joy of Cooking

I like to think of myself as a man straddling dichotomizes. Somewhere between awesome and not awesome, pumped and not pumped, asshole and douchebag, I live. That said, I truly do not know I feel about what I am about to discuss.

There are two types of programs which completely captivate me. Those are cooking shows and painting shows. I don't paint or cook the sorts of foods featured, but I remain transfixed. I think it's something about the way the hosts' speech that absolutely lulls me. Some shows more than others. For example, I don't really care for America's Test Kitchen, although I'm so rarely watching television in the afternoon, and, fortunately, I don't have cable or I might remain transfixed on Food Network, so my consumption of these programs is limited. I also really dislike Rachel Ray; she is just to perky. Also, they really should have a painting network. I would watch that all day long.

That paragraph didn't really go where I was intending and I used too many appositives, but this is no mistake. It was a happy accident. I regret to say that I don't believe I had discovered the Joy of Painting until after Bob's death, although I choose to acknowledge his contributions by not buying those shirts that say "Happy Little Trees" at Target or wherever. It's the least I can do, really. This, however, leaves me conflicted. The ability to relive my favorite Bob Ross moments, although on a platform I don't own, is a little exhilarating, and probably will be a much more frugal choice than his prohibitively priced episodes. Fortunately for us all, they are also available on VHS, even though the format is no longer supported.

I would also like to point out that cooking shows have some of the best names ever.

Bad-ass Legos

This is pretty awesome. I am thinking of busting out my old Lego collection and building a personal army of this guy's stuff. It's a lot cooler than that Exo-Force stuff Lego has been making, which is arguably still kind of cool.


Power Armor Instructions: A LEGO® creation by Kyle Vrieze : MOCpages.com

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The Ebay of Bricks

I know I should be pumped, but I don't know how pumped to be...


BrickLink - The Unofficial Online LEGO® Marketplace

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New Species of Pitcher Plant

This one, with the bad-ass name Nepenthes tenax, grows to be a full meter tall and can digest small rodents. I love me some carnivorous plants. My little sister has had a few pet Venus flytraps; she managed to kill them all through overfeeding them, although they are quite fickle to begin with.



Cryptomundo.com » Rat-Eating Plant Discovered

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Cleanse the pallet with Robot Action

This made me smile, even after all the gloom of super villain deaths.

BotJunkie » Rampaging Industrial Robot Destroys RV With Bowling Balls

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Do Want

Cloverfield Monster Action Figure? Yes, please.

But waiting until Sept. 30th is pretty lame. At least it won't spoil anything. Will the movie be on dvd by then?

I'm still waiting to get a weighted companion cube...

Hasbro toys with 'Cloverfield' monster - Entertainment News, Film News, Media - Variety

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Blue Man Group Tour

I saw them on their The Complex tour. Good times. I'm really tempted to go see them again. I don't think they have new songs, but the songs are only part of the experience. It's really about getting an endoscope down your throat.

How To Be A Megastar Tour

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Dinosaur Sex

Here's an AP story about dinosaur reproduction:

Wired News - AP News

Dinner Theatre

I just saw a commercial for this. I was intrigued and since my laptop is here, heating my genitals, I decided to check it out. I've never been to anything like this, and it looks like fun, although that would be somewhat dependant on the food. If I knew someone interested in going, I'd look into it more, but since I haven't found anyone to go see Walking with Dinosaurs (live!), it's unlikely. However, I will share this find with you, the Internets.

Who Stole My Dead Husband - Welcome!


Also, this came up when I typed "who stole my dead husband" into YouTube search. I'd never heard to words to Mission Impossible before.

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Nixon's Enemies

I was watching Pioneers of Television on OPB and they mentioned that one of these pioneer talk show hosts made it to Nixon's enemies list. I wondered, who else was on that list? I'd heard that Bill Cosby was on it, but was he? Wikipedia seems to have the answers!

Here's my favorite quote from the original memo:

John Conyers, congressman, Detroit: Coming on fast. Emerging as a leading black anti-Nixon spokesman. Has known weakness for white females.

Nixon's Enemies List - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Master list of Nixon political opponents - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Ellen Feiss

Years ago, there was a commercial. It was a really good commercial. You probably remember it.


She sorta looks like this girl I had a crush on in middle school.

I exercised a little search-fu, quickly learning her name was misspelled on that Youtube video and that she was in an French short film called Bed and Breakfast. She's approximately the same age as me, and thus likely to be socially networked. It probably wouldn't be to difficult to find her actual dox, but I always find the fake stuff so much more interesting. Her top friends include Carl Winslow and Mr Skin. There were several fakies, as there often are with (in)famous individuals (I have Gob from Arrested Development on mine) like Stephen Colbert, but this was the most substantial of the lot:

MySpace.com - Ellen - 20 - Female - San Jose, California - www.myspace.com/ellenfeiss

Ancient Pole Position Commercial

I've been a big fan of Lore Sjoberg since his ratings back at The Brunching Shuttlecocks. The site is sadly abandoned, but not derelict, although I can't say with any certainty how maintained his blog or other projects continued. I imagine the ratings stopped shortly after his book was published. In any case, he is now a contributor to Wired. His latest piece is wonderful:

Video Gallery: Best Vintage Tech Commercials

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Turn Urine Blue

Methylene Blue is an amazing chemical. From my crude understanding, it's a dye with mild anti-fungal properties that make it useful for aquaculture. If ingested, in small amounts, can turn someone's urine blue. It is available for purchase on Amazon in case your fishes get a case of the ich. Update: I've purchased 4oz of methylene blue after mistakenly ordering 1oz of methylene green. What a mix up that was! Stay posted.



Amazon.com: Methylene Blue - 4 oz.: Kitchen & Dining

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