Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts

Saturday, January 03, 2009

iDeadpool

This was my birthday breakfast. It was delicious. I'd like to thank Holy Taco for the amazing idea.

I'd like to begin 2009 by asking for a moratorium on using pronouns as prefixes. It's ridiculous and it needs to end. It doesn't making your product seem more hip. Stop it.

I only seem to blog when I'm procrastinating, although I maintain my moblog and twitter accounts fairly consistently. I've been meaning to muse on some things for the past month and I've probably forgotten most of them by now. I'll try to address a few of them.

Wrapping the year up: One person on my 2008 deadpool passed, Gordon Hinkley. I'm really rather disapointed in myself given the impressive number of deaths in the past year. I'm hoping to do better this year, as morbid as that is. Clearly, I don't want any of these people to die, but I also like being right and feeling slightly prophetic. You can play along at home too! Just write down the top ten notable people you feel may expire in the coming year. The person with the most deceased on their list at the end of the year gets the satisfaction of knowing they're responsible for the world being a little less bright. It's fun!

On blogging: I made 264 posts on this blog, passing the 500 and 700 post marks. I also created my moblog, which has over 3,500 posts of useless thoughts, and a comblog(?) which is a bit of both? I'll probably add a twitter widget to that eventually too, likely instead of writing a paper of some sort.

Today's procrastination is buying textbooks. Although I'm excited for the new semester, I don't especially care to get dressed, instead savoring having the apartment to myself. I'm taking one class on television genres, which I've very much looking forward to. Perhaps it will be like this South Park class? Or perhaps we will touch on Buffy Studies. I'm just excited I'll be reading House and Philosophy, although much less to be Reading Sex and the City, but I'm sure it will be interesting.

Finally, here's my 2009 Deadpool:

Deadpool '09

Les Paul

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A blog is fine too


I wanted to do a research paper on Louis Wain, but it wasn't viable.

I had some midterms this week. I'm not happy with my performance. I'll blame Leibniz rather than Newton since I think I did splendidly on my physics test. Did you know Leibniz invented binary notation? Neat!

But that's not important.

I've started on my Halloween costume. It is not one of these, but it will be great. More on that at a later date.

Anyways, what I wanted to comment upon was something I encountered doing another ethics assignment.This time it was about bloggers and citizen journalism and standards of professionalism and... The case study was about Josh Wolfe and whether he is a journalist or not. I came down on the affirmitive side. If I was allowed to cite Wikipedia I'd point that he is included in the category: American journalists, but his Journalist of the Year award is better evidence. I'm sure that was one of the citerion they used when considering that categorization as well. As the class went on, I realized the class didn't share this opinion. I'm an introvert naturally and even more so when I feel myself in the minority opinion. I'm not elequent enough to win an argument against so many. I know the internet is serious business, but the class just sounded like Andrew Keen. I know by writing this, I am confirming many of the criticisms they expressed. In my amateur opinion they sounded a little afraid of the Internet. I don't blame them, but being a luddite just makes you sound butt-hurt. Everyone knows the internet is just for porn and cats anyways.

I've digressed. I did a little reading about Mr. Wolf while I was hastily writing why the Internet needs protection and found that he ran for mayor of San Fransisco in 2007. He failed spectacularly. More interesting to me were the write-in candiates. One vote for Robert McCullough and he's in the municipal history books. I just got my ballot, perhaps I shall try for some of this cheap immortality.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Virtually Connected


I keep a mobile blog. I've thought of just using Twitter, but then I remember that no one cares about the minutiae of my life, including myself. So I'm content to post inane things for my own gratification happy to know no one but myself will ever read them. But occasionally, I'll see something fantastic on Twitter and want to join. Perhaps Assisted Homicide needs to tweet @Bad Horse.

Friday, October 03, 2008

I like to think of waffles as corrugated pancakes

You know, I just now realized that I neglected to mentioned that I set up an aggregate page to show my most recent blog posts from both this location and my mobile blog, although the latter has a slight delay. As a bonus, it also shows the last few items I dugg. I think it's pretty neat.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Change of Integrity

I've squandered my evening playing with these subscription things. I also took the opportunity to try WordPress. It has some very nice features, but it wasn't what I was looking for at the moment. I wanted to cross-pollinate this web log with my moblog without compromising their individual integrity, but it has been a fruitless endeavor thus far. I know a way to do it and I may later. In the interim, you can see my latest mobile update at the bottom of the page and conversely there.

Test failed. Post Homunculi was imported because it was created before the transfer was complete. Try rerouting the feed?

The transition appears smooth, but it wouldn't be a proper test if it wasn't repeatable.

An Exciting New Direction

Poor, but honest. Sad, but true!

Between bouts of cleaning, existentialism, and reading my new favorite wikipedia article, I added FeedBurner to my blog(s). What does this mean to you, the reader?

I'm not sure yet. But it's exciting nonetheless.

Certain questions arise, such as, "Do I need to resubscribe to your web feed of now?" and "What is the proper use of a semicolon?"

Again, I'm not sure yet. If it makes any difference, and I doubt that it does, I picked the RSS feed option when adding it opposed to the Atom option, perhaps out of a fondness for acronyms or dislike of chemistry. I abandoned IE before web 2.0 hit and I've never used Safari, so I can't tell you if they are as amazing on those browsers as they are in Firefox. I remember when I had to manually check my favorite websites for updates and how frustrating it was to find that some internet humorist hadn't updated. Gosh, that feels like so long ago.

Basically, I added affirmation that I have no audience and if you want to know when I post new things, click the orange square in the right side of the address bar or at the bottom you can click a hyperlink for the same results. It will say:

Subscribe to Wafflecone

Friday, May 09, 2008

OK Go

I should probably go through and tag all my past blog posts that deal with ADHD now that I've realized I have so many.

I haven't written as much recently, a fact I've acknowledged, as I've found myself in an entirely unexpected situation: having somewhat of a social life. As you know, this is diametrically opposed to the blogosphere. In any case, there have a few things I've been meaning to write about that I simply haven't, but I think the time has come.

I just reread an essay I wrote a year and a half ago (has it been so long?). Why am I mentioning it? Firstly, because I think it's a damn fine piece of creative nonfiction and probably one of my best assigned works. Although, I think it really needs a follow-up and could use a few edits (especially links for the blog post). Second, because it relates to what I want to discuss. Doping. Sorta. Not really. Whatever.

A few weeks ago, Wired (anagram of weird!) did a few pieces on brain enhancing medications. I made a note to write about them later (see: procrastination). This was also about the same time they ran those terrible profiles of people at ROFLCon, for which they may never redeem themselves. At first, I was a little appalled that they seemed to be condoning the abuse of the medical system, which is arguably broken. I should also disclose that at this time, and until perhaps recently, I had sworn off prescription medications to manage my attention-deficit disorder. The context for this must be explained:

Wait, I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this before on here. Maybe I have. I continue...

I stopped taking medications sometime last fall (I think mid-September) for multiple reasons. This was right after my girlfriend of four-years broke up with me and I had decided I did not wish to return to BYU-Idaho, but had not put in a transfer application in time to anywhere else (since fixed; yay!). I saw this as an opportunity to for introspection, self-evaluation, and so on. Find out who I really am, beneath it all. That sort of thing. If you really want more background, I think I wrote about the decision here, here, and here.

I think I've reached some conclusions. First of all, I really love Mountain Dew. Secondly, my 4.0, although at a community college, attests that I can still function academically in my liber state to some degree. This was something I was very worried about. A dependency on a medication? Like some sort of freak? That was a joke, really.

That essay, which feels so ancient now with all this new perspective, mentions that I can talk excessively for periods. Take notice, please, that there is actually a word for verbal diarrhea. This isn't a problem when you've no one to talk to but becomes a significant issue when you text your friend's girlfriend in disbelief that he had just let slip how just how affectionate she was, or something similar to that sequence of events because you can't really recall exactly what happened because everyone started yelling and you didn't understand why, or when you write run-on sentences in blogger. Yeah, I actually did that. I can't use the emoticon =/ hard enough.

While this was probably (hopefully?) the worst thing I've done like that (although I can't be certain), it was not the first and I intend to make it the last. Ooo, dramatic.

Monday, May 05, 2008

It's Never Schistosomiasis

I really feel that this image is entirely self-explanatory.

Oooh! ScribeFire has updated! Fancy! Maybe this will cure my blog-lag (unlikely).

Mondays have become the second best night of television, which makes my families attempts at Family Home Evening a little awkward. I mean, I know the Dr. House will solve the case at 42 minutes, but that doesn't make it less exciting (except on dvd). We were going to try to eat the durian I gave my brother for his birthday for tonights lesson, but Doctor House was on the case (also Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother).

I really like this update. It is very nice. Except the text size buttons are backwards, but I'm getting distracted.

So, umm, there's this thing I do. I like to think it's quirky, but it's really more eccentric. I'll try to explain it without sounding bonkers:

When my little sister was little(r), she had some sort of intestinal parasite and we all had to take some sort of antibiotic or something to be sure that we hadn't caught it as well. I'm not really sure, it was a long time ago and all I really remember about what I've grown to call The Buttworms Incident was taking a large pill at bedtime and my mother describing seeing the worms wiggle in my sister's stools. Chilling.

I believe I've made other posts about parasites before, but these really freaked me out. To this day, I will still peer down to make sure my defecations aren't wriggling. Also color and consistency. I joke about that last part.Mostly. Anyways, it's always bothered me that I had no idea what this parasite was called. I have now come to believe that they are pinworms. Knowing is half the battle. The other half is defecating?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Apologizes to the Ether

I decided not to crop it because I have nothing to hide.

I haven't written much lately, although I've had many fine ideas, and I will continue to blame that stupid list for a little while longer and maybe a little bit of procrastination for good measure. I probably should be a little more devout if I want a readership, although my moblog has become quite popular among a few. In any case, I wanted to follow up this post a bit. While I was fiddling with my privacy settings on the aforementioned moblog I noticed that Google kindly offers to help you register a domain, should you want to fork out the $10 USD. I was curious and decided to check the availability of a few choice name variations on waffle. I found the suggested results amusing and I hope you will to [see above].

Monday, April 21, 2008

When I Learn Semaphore, I Will Use Toy Lightsavers to Communicate

An integral part of my study practices.

Why am I procrastinating to the point of elongating sentences just to kill a few moments? I have to write a paper on a revolution in communication tonight, so of course, I am blogging. I would write about the revolution of blogging, but I might have a hard time finding printed sources to lend it that air of credibility that bloggers already suffer from. I am leaning towards doing something on semaphore, based almost primarily on my experiences from scouting, and because someone mentioned carrier pigeons in class stealing the novelty I crave in my reports. I even dug out my old handbooks to see what glorious tidbits they contain. I was not disappointed:

This is by no means the best image I could find, just the first to strike me.

This image is from the 10th Edition of the Boy Scout Handbook. The transition to the 11th left me rather cold. A lot of the weirder parts of scouting (see above) were omitted, although there was still some great moments. I was disappointed when I could no longer find anything about signaling, or identifying specific tree species. But I am very glad they retained the cringe-inducing how to remove a hook from your finger instructional.

The poor image quality is to discourage yours from playing with fishhooks.

I was actually procrastinating so hard earlier that I got the blue screen of death. This is the video that tipped my lappy over. I have an addiction to tabs, which is fatal.

Friday, April 18, 2008

From Russia with love

I don't enjoy blogging without my mouse plugged in, but my cat has marooned me. I had only planned to watch a few episodes of Stella before the cat decided to take a nap on my chest and she's too cute to move. In any case it gives me a chance to practice a little bit of html and I can always edit later. This is actually an edit. Disprove that; I dare you.

I recently tried to tweak the template on my moblog and failed. If you can hear the teen buzz on that site please let me know, because I can't. It's really quite silly and it doesn't matter. It might matter if I had my own domain. Perhaps one in the Sovient Union? I've toyed with the idea of registering one before, mostly as fantasy, but having one in the former Soviet Union sounds fun, if only for novelty. The price seems reasonable, even if the return (for me at least), would not be. I guess I could put up some ads, but whatever.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Fatosphere is a horrible name. I would have called it the rotundosphere


Yo? Get it? Get it? Tok-yo Hotel. Come on...

I was only planned to check my facespace and leave this to power up, but I got a little distracted. I don't even have my mouse plugged in, so we'll keep this brief. I was already aware of cell-phone novels, which is an intriguing concept, although I could never do it (I can never remember what I say in my text messages just seconds after). But the other terms are much more interesting, especially the gender-neutral pronoun yo. I really dig that. I'm going to look for more gender-ambiguous situations so I can use it.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Foot Stool


I went to a tack shop hoping to find an appropriate belt and found this stool incredibly charming.


I haven't written anything for the past few days. I read this article about the top 50 blogs and felt a little intimidated by the blagosphere ( I only read like three of the fifty listed). Also very angry that Icanhascheezburger was on the list, which is so filled with ads that it is difficult to view, but I suppose it does get a lot of hits. Grumble grumble...caturday...

Furthermore, how could they forget Cute Overload? It's goddamn adorable! Too cute really; the sweetness makes me pucker and spit. I didn't mean to dwell on that list too much, but this is an obvious oversite. The internet exists (almost) solely for puppies, politics, and porn.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Is there anything more pathetic than searching for a specific commercial on Youtube? What about blogging about it?

What exactly is this belt holding up?

I have a confession: I bought one of those belt buckle knives (not the confederate one!). It arrived earlier this week with the lovely warning: This product contains a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Awesome.

I suppose I should expect as much; it was made in China. But my real problem has been, how do I get these congenital birth defects to my potential offspring if I don't have a belt that it will fit? I clearly missed an opportunity to buy an awesome belt as an accessory if I had to buy a new belt anyways, although I can't be sure the two types of belts would have gotten along. In any case, I needed a new belt. I decided Target's website might be a good place to look.

It wasn't.

Perhaps I should have been more specific than simply belt, which returned some 368 results not including the Books, Music, Videos + DVDs brought to you by amazon.com. Thanks, guys! However, had I done that I never would have stumbled upon this. I didn't even know they made these anymore, on account of them being bogus. I mean, I'd seen them briefly in some Target ads but I figured it intended as some kitschy throwback to a simpler time like all their commercial pseudohallucinations. But apparently that same company make a variety of fitness products that will vibrate you to good health. Sure.

As of this writing, the search continues.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I've got a fever

Sadly, I missed Walken's performance last week on SNL and haven't bothered to check out the highlights. While I've made a habit of watching my favorite shows the day-after, I don't with late night programs. I suppose I've come to the conclusion that there will always be more (and similar) content later to enjoy. I'm actually referring to viral marketing.

I've become a sneezer. Or I fear I have. Maybe I am just sharing things I love with people I love and there's nothing inherently wrong with that, certainly. The product I shared wasn't engineered to be contagious, or rather, it didn't seem overtly so, but I still decided to make a comment on FaceSpace about it. I was infected.

I recall the first time I heard that buzzword, viral. It was in regards to a Pepsi Superbowl ad. It was 2005 and people were figuring out how to use the Internet. I don't think it was intentional, just lucky casting, but Mandy Amano was a hit and everyone praised Pepsi for being awesome and whatever. Then people started trying to do it on purpose instead of letting it happen. Viral isn't just a buzzword, it's a goal.

I feel all jaded, unnecessarily. I'm torn as it if I should even mention the site that has inspired this fulmination or if that would be somehow immoral. Would it be a service to them or an exploitation of myself or both? The line of questioning continues logically until I wonder: just how lame am I being now?

Fortunately, GoogleAds answers my question. While I don't use them on this blag, I'm somewhat tempted to, just to find out what it would direct people to. It also told me where I can find Local Emo Guys & Girls and ringtones(!), although I like the one I have.

I probably wouldn't be so worked up about this whole thing if I hadn't discovered that the Ask a Ninja guys make over $100,000 a month in ad revenue for a format they lifted from the Brothers Chaps. I don't know if I grew tired of the format(I can't remember the last time I watched Strong Bad) or quality became poorer, but I stopped watching after episode 65, which had been preceded by long absences between episodes which waned interest. Its difficult to compromise my love of Very Tasteful and adoration of Crista Flanagan with usual disdain for vloggers and my reluctance to recommend but I'll console myself with the thought that no one actually reads this and even less follow the links.

And, of course, by writing this at all, I've only stoked the fire.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sexual Omnivores

The gibbon will never threaten to stab you, and in fact, cannot speak. In the event that the gibbon does speak, please disregard its advice.

Given the liberties of obscurity, I am free to post a link to this story which ties in quite well with this past post and reminds me of this program without anyone thinking I have some sort of preoccupation with monkeys. But really, it's only for gibbons.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Swingin' Apes


No one reads this. Or at least, I imagine so. It will take a great deal of comments to dissuade me from this position. Part of me clings to this idea, of zero readership, to allow myself to remain frank and uncensored by a readership, although I rarely speak on personal issues as it is (this isn't a LiveJournal, or so I hope!). I am conflicted, however, as part of me desperately wants to be witty and not ever desire to spout garbage like oh, I wrote about that on my blog. Or I am so blogging this. I always imagine a short, hairy hipster saying such things, and I fancy myself no such thing, although I was briefly amazed at how hairy my arms are during my volcanology final today (which was lovely, thanks for asking!). I am also not very tall. Perhaps there is cause for concern. Alert me if I mention my blog in rl. I did that ironically, really. I should have said rly for greater affect. Or I could have gone with the srsly combo, but I dislike the word seriously fairly intently because of past exposure to Grey's Anatomy. Oh well. Did you know alert is an anagram of alter? It's true!

See? That's the sort of trumpery I just couldn't produce if I had an audience. They would be disgusted. I am a little disgusted as well. Perhaps that has something to do with this I found. It is a very long account of someone's experience in Borneo doing research on orangutans. I haven't read it all, but it is hosted on a university's website, so I assume it is credible. This isn't the first account of orangutan-on-woman sexual assault I've heard of, this one is referenced on the wikipedia article on animal sexuality, which also includes this gem:
"Masturbation is common in the animal kingdom ... We have a Darwinist mentality that all animals only have sex to procreate. But there are plenty of animals who will masturbate when they have nothing better to do. Masturbation has been observed among primates, deer, killer whales and penguins, and we're talking about both males and females. They rub themselves against stones and roots. Orangutans are especially inventive. They make dildos of wood and bark."
I'm no primatologist, but it seems like the bonobos still have a leg-up. I'll finish this up with the specific quote from this account of Borneo so you don't have to read the whole thing to get to the action:
When Mr. Scott and Mrs. Ann neared the camp, they saw an orangutan--Apollo Bob--who seemed to want to play. He wrestled with Mrs. Ann a bit and she thought it was innocent fun, until he grabbed her by both ankles and jerked her to the ground and started to mount her. Mr. Scott tried to pull him off, but orangutans are real strong. He said later it made him understand how horrible it must be to witness your wife or girl friend being raped and be able to do nothing about it. The struggle moved across about thirty feet of the trail, with Mr. Scott being able to do nothing but grab the back of Apollo Bob's neck and push his head toward the ground so he couldn't proceed. About then, Mrs. Anne (with an e at the end of her name) heard the ruckus from camp and came running, and, knowledgeable primatologist that she is, exploited the fact that humans are tool-using animals and orangutans for the most part are not, and grabbed a stick and chased Apollo Bob away.
At least I wasn't a rabbit, I guess.

You probably don't want to type monkey sex into the Google. Ever. Although I did find this image kind of funny.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The 600th Post is an Essay



Reality television is a deceptive moniker for a deceptive format. While the characters, and this is the proper term for the individuals portrayed, are not paid actors in the sense that their participation will guarantee a financial boon the assertion that they are real people is entirely misleading. Thousands of people audition for the opportunity to participate in these programs, not unlike professional actors would, and they are effectively cast in that producers chose individuals for their shows according to their dictates. Indeed, if you watch the title sequence of Survivor you will notice that the islanders are listed and named as the actors in the title sequence of Law and Order are, although those on Survivor are supposedly not acting, that is, they are acting as themselves. This concept, that the people are “real” and thus seen as easily relatable, although still often outlandish, is the unifying factor of a genre that has become increasingly varied since its conception.

The genre is still in its infancy, having only come to prominence in the last decade, and many different variations upon the “real people” theme have become well established, though they are often in characteristically unrealistic situations. For the sake of convenience and simplicity, these can be crudely divided into three subgenera including: the Intervention, the Experiment, and the Contest. In the Intervention a righteous force sweeps in to help an individual or family portrayed as needing or worthy of some profound boon to help them rise above their circumstances. Examples of this format include Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Super Nanny. The Experiment is a show in which a unique situation is created and the novelty of people acting through it is often the key appeal. Setups include propositions such as: Does a woman value love or wealth more? Could a group of children survive without adult influence and create a community all their own? What happens when beautiful women are forced to interact with socially inept men? The last type of reality programming may be described as the Contest in which a group of individuals compete with each other a series of episodes towards a prize facing trials of elimination periodically. The method of elimination varies from arrival time, to audience popularity, or internal voting. Of course, there is often overlap between these formats with shows such as The Biggest Loser that blends elements of both the Contest and the Intervention or Wife Swap which is a blend of Intervention and Experiment.

If indeed these are real people, then we must ask ourselves, why are they on television instead of actors? That is not to ask why the shows themselves exist, as there is obviously a demand for them but rather why what are presented as ordinary people seek to participate in public spectacle. A certain amount of this could be attributed to egotism or a desire to achieve fame, and for some this has worked quite well. Others might seek (or out of mere desperation, apply) for the offer of charity and change that the Intervention programs provide. A small percentage, apparently, is foolhardy enough to believe they might find love on a national television program. However, given the large economic incentives often provided by the Contest shows, and one imagines that all participants are paid to some degree for their cooperation, it is likely that this plays a major factor for those involved.

Part of the appeal of the Contest format is that individuals, or teams, compete with each other directly, a trend found in most all forms of entertainment, with the caveat of the reality inserted into television. Given that these shows often contain novel and surprising challenges for the contestants, a certain degree of success must be attributed to luck, as skill cannot account for success in all situations and often the most skilled fails unexpectedly. This does not keep contestants from eagerly looking ahead as much as possible, making treachery and deceit important tactics for success, in shows where this is possible. In shows where the participants directly affect elimination procedures, such as Survivor and Big Brother, contestants can often be seen forming “alliances” and voting off people they perceive as “strong,” that is, all other things being equal, perceived as more fit to win the competition than the others. This idea is directly contrary to the free market ethic as the best product should be most successful based on its own merits. Contest reality shows such as American Idol and The Amazing Race more closely follow the free market model in that contestants cannot negatively impact each other directly but are rewarded for their performances. Others, such as The Apprentice and America’s Next Top Model, involve an appeal to an authority that arbitrarily decides whether or not a contestant will be eliminated. These shows become most interesting when the artificial market ends, but the exchange continues into “real life.” To date, only two relationships in eleven completed seasons of The Bachelor have persisted as the time of this writing, although four of the seasons had ended with a marriage proposal; a stark reminder that reality and reality television are two separate domains.