Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Friday, May 09, 2008


I should probably go through and tag all my past blog posts that deal with ADHD now that I've realized I have so many.

I haven't written as much recently, a fact I've acknowledged, as I've found myself in an entirely unexpected situation: having somewhat of a social life. As you know, this is diametrically opposed to the blogosphere. In any case, there have a few things I've been meaning to write about that I simply haven't, but I think the time has come.

I just reread an essay I wrote a year and a half ago (has it been so long?). Why am I mentioning it? Firstly, because I think it's a damn fine piece of creative nonfiction and probably one of my best assigned works. Although, I think it really needs a follow-up and could use a few edits (especially links for the blog post). Second, because it relates to what I want to discuss. Doping. Sorta. Not really. Whatever.

A few weeks ago, Wired (anagram of weird!) did a few pieces on brain enhancing medications. I made a note to write about them later (see: procrastination). This was also about the same time they ran those terrible profiles of people at ROFLCon, for which they may never redeem themselves. At first, I was a little appalled that they seemed to be condoning the abuse of the medical system, which is arguably broken. I should also disclose that at this time, and until perhaps recently, I had sworn off prescription medications to manage my attention-deficit disorder. The context for this must be explained:

Wait, I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this before on here. Maybe I have. I continue...

I stopped taking medications sometime last fall (I think mid-September) for multiple reasons. This was right after my girlfriend of four-years broke up with me and I had decided I did not wish to return to BYU-Idaho, but had not put in a transfer application in time to anywhere else (since fixed; yay!). I saw this as an opportunity to for introspection, self-evaluation, and so on. Find out who I really am, beneath it all. That sort of thing. If you really want more background, I think I wrote about the decision here, here, and here.

I think I've reached some conclusions. First of all, I really love Mountain Dew. Secondly, my 4.0, although at a community college, attests that I can still function academically in my liber state to some degree. This was something I was very worried about. A dependency on a medication? Like some sort of freak? That was a joke, really.

That essay, which feels so ancient now with all this new perspective, mentions that I can talk excessively for periods. Take notice, please, that there is actually a word for verbal diarrhea. This isn't a problem when you've no one to talk to but becomes a significant issue when you text your friend's girlfriend in disbelief that he had just let slip how just how affectionate she was, or something similar to that sequence of events because you can't really recall exactly what happened because everyone started yelling and you didn't understand why, or when you write run-on sentences in blogger. Yeah, I actually did that. I can't use the emoticon =/ hard enough.

While this was probably (hopefully?) the worst thing I've done like that (although I can't be certain), it was not the first and I intend to make it the last. Ooo, dramatic.

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