Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The Promised Pictures

I have mixed feelings towards doing posts like this that are primarily images as I am not a photographer my any stretch and I have trouble filling the gaps and explaining the context. Also, you look really weird whenever you take pictures in public with your phone. It's O.K., folks, I'm a blogger. This is citizen journalism at it's finest.
I don't know what to say. I like duct tape. I made a pair of slippers out of duct tape one time, but my mom threw them away. I was sad for like two days.
I've confessed my love for Amy Adams many times and I was very close to buying one of these coloring books, if only for the gag where I "accidentally" had it mixed in with the other mother's day gifts and then I take it back and am like "whoops" or something. It seemed funnier in my head. Anyways, I'm glad I didn't do it. Also the art really sucked in it.
With the exception of this. Hot.
I knew that once upon a time there existed David Bowie comics, but I was still surprised to see a KISS comic book. I wonder if it ties into their film. I was overcome with curiosity and began flipping through.
The photos are a little blurry, so you can buy it from the publisher here if you want a better image. I'm sure it's well worth it too; just look at the boobs in the next panel!
Don't let the art distract you from the clever dialogs. After you've said the line "He implants chips in us" there really isn't anywhere else to go but an incredibly obtuse euphemism for prostitution: "while we do our...um, thing." I have nothing else to say...
But don't worry. Platinum Studios knows what they're doing. This is a panel from further down the same page. It's a little blurry, but I think I can make out the text: We--We only go by-code names-- He is "Exciter". Also, check out the claws on his giant sausage fingers! There were more boobs and muscle-men fighting later, but I really thought that one page was the moneyshot. Of course, if KISS 4K can't satisfy you you might want to try...
Another Gene Simmons masterpiece! I didn't feel the need to flip through this one; I think the cover pretty much tells the whole story.
I saw these was very tempted to purchase the state of mind that can only come with thorough stool evaluation. It's be a bathroom reader, obviously. The red band on the rightmost book is so you can hang your poop diary from the toilet handle, for your convenience, of course. I'm not sure where you keep your pencil for writing all of your notes:

The pictures inside this pigeon book absolutely blew my mind. The pages were too glossy to capture, but if you see it, take a look for a moment. Pigeon hobbyists (is that the right word?) are at least three times as eccentric as any dog breeder. Unless there is a breed of dog genetically engineered to do backflips and then hunt down raptors to protect their retarded pets, I will never believe otherwise. Plus, you chose pigeons for a pet, so you're already pretty weird to begin with. Just look at how many there are!

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