I was talking to a friend late last night, at about that time where I am simultaneously suggestible and cantankerous. She attempted to draw out my inner dialog, imploring me to speak my mind. I refused and retorted that she ought to as well. She then professed that her impressions which fit verbal expression were given confession. I found this admirable and felt a pang of envy. I will never phonate ferociously enough to fit the frequency of my figments. Though I may make effort, it will never be fast enough and there are issues of intelligibility and propriety to consider. I find myself more comfortable in a transcribed medium at times as it allows me more time to collect and filter my volatile mind, although the refinement is arduous. I've spent entirely too much time on this one post alone!
In any case, I've written about (my) ADD before, many times. I had a doctor's appointment earlier this week and I'm feeling a lot better about things now. He wanted me to keep a diary while we try some new things; I've overloaded my moblog a few times with observations.
It was weird. He gave me a little faq sheet about ADHD and one on depression, since it's often comorbid. But that wasn't the weird part. It was the checklist of symptoms, a bill of my greatest insecurities and faults. I felt the omniscient eye of science undressing me. I didn't know whether to be comforted or indignant that I seemed so easily discerned, described, categorized, labeled, and treated. Was I... Am I merely the product of some mental anomaly?
I don't want this blog to be about living with attention deficit disorder, although I can't omit it's influence from my life. I like to think I'm more than that. It's not something I like to share a lot either.
But I have to share this: Patient Voices: A.D.H.D. - The New York Times
The challenges faced by those with A.D.H.D. -- weighing the decision to
take stimulant medication, facing those who doubt your disorder and
adapting to your symptoms -- are daunting and deeply personal. Here, in
their own words, are the stories of adults and children coping with