Today I made a life changing decision based on very poor information

Today is the 31st. Which means I will no longer be using Clone High quotations as subject lines. No one cares about that.
I think my sister killed my iguana. I'm trying not to let it bother me. I'm simply bad with pets. I know I didn't have as much to do with this one's demise (it was sick when we got him and never fully recovered) and I kept it around for at least a year more than it would have otherwise. But man, it still hurts a little. Especially since it was probably due to something really silly that he finally expired, like not misting the cage daily or something. I don't know, its starting to make me teary.
I lifted a huge load off my chest today; I withdrew from calculus. After getting 40 out of 107 possible on the last exam, the professor actually suggested it. He's pretty awesome and I feel bad for not taking full advantage of everything he offers. I think I'll continue going to his class, he invited me, what a nice guy. All in all, I feel very relieved about not having to worry about failing the class any longer, as i surely would have.
Maybe I'll get an ant-farm or a nice friendly chiapet or some other plant. I might do okay with those. Plus I could maybe train the ants. I'd feel less bad about their deaths as they aren't individuals and i've had some run ins with them before.
The calculus class was one of the few things I really admired about this campus, well, not the course, but the teacher's flexibility and dedication to student's individual success. It left me with a very good first impression of the campus. However, great pressure has been relieved from me in its removal from my schedule. This campus has a palpable constriction to it. From the inability to watch family guy, to the requirement of religion classes, to a dresscode Jesus wouldn't fit, this place is confinded. Doesn't help that its built in the middle of nowhere. The religion is one of strict rules and obiediance, which I was somewhat delighted to hear has a negative affect on some students with perhaps up to 40% at risk for eating disorders. We talked about it a little today in psychology class, the professor was hesitant to give any numbers, and i inferred that one from spontaneous generation. Anyways, the religion is suffocating at times. I should be used to this sort of pressure by now. Hell, I track and schedule my day around the drugs I take. I was going to tie that in with pressure in a clever way, but the drugs have worn off by now, and it's not worth the effort. Anyways, I just want some more relief from the pressure, probably won't get any. Thats why I play video games. City of Heroes was an escape. I miss it. "This ain't no ice cream social"...whine whine whine

G-spot rocks the G-spot

Son of a bitch!!

Mine was cheaper anyways. If I'd brought it here, few would have understood it. Hell, I don't really understand it. I wasn't there. Oh well, I like target because they compete with Walmart, whom I dislike. Anyways, there's something else...

This article talks about training wasps to locate certain chemical odors in a fairly simple process. Now what i'm wondering is just how easy it really is. Primarily, can I do it with another insect here? Expose insect to scent while providing conditioned stimulus sugar water, repeat a few times, they equate the smell with food and begin to search for it. Simple. Can I, do i really even want to, train another insect...say... ants to find my room mates hair spray delicious? Too bad it probably doesn't work with spiders, they don't drink sugar water. Idea! I could be come the lord of the butterflies!! I would of course, wear a black trenchcoat (which would be made pungent) and dark glasses (for fashions sake) and be followed by an entourage of serene butterflies. The juxtaposition would be grand. Plus, butterflies are friendly. Or I could become the true lord of the flies and unleash them to do my will. I'd have to find a way to gather these insects for training before any such thing could be done. However, I think with the right perfume (like that of a sibling) applied amplely to a shallow tray of sugar water near a hornet's nest, they would eventually make the corralation. My God, insect terrorism. I don't know that a maggot farm would be worth the effort to make your roommate adorned with a cloud of flies. It might be though. Perhaps a summer project.

I look like a jackass in these rainbow shorts

Nothing too exciting happening in my world. Midterms were this week, and my calculus grade is probably shit, but i won't let it grind me down. We're studying Motivation and Emotion in psychology right now, which is wonderful. I'm really enjoying it; watching a room full of mormons uncomfortably watch some rats copulate is on my list of favorite rexburg moments. Also the professor calling a girl in class who was dating a future missionary [opposed to a returned missionary] a "wicked temptress". I personally would have expanded it into "wicked temptress of the flesh, debaucher of the souls of men, Lucifer's seducer of sin, Hell's burning excrement of fiery passion that no herpes ointment can cure". That may be slightly over the top, but that's me. I love hyperbole. King of the Hill had some great satire about that sort of thing in their Halloween episode. Bobby gets tricked into going to some christian hallelujah party (opposed to obviously satanic halloween festivities elseware) and they show some teenagers on a park bench making out, and then the next slide shows them together...IN A MAUSOLEUM....DEAD! I love that show. I need to get it on Dvd. Also, I think through classical conditioning, the sympathetic nervous system can be trained to ejaculate on cue. I think this is the trick porn stars use. I'm not sure what stimulus they use, I'm sure its different for each of them. I imagine they use some mental thought to trigger it, opposed to a stimulus like a bright light in their eyes or being touched in a certain place...say.. on the elbow (which could lead to various humorus situations, especially in the subways and other crowded areas). I know its possible to classically condition physical arousal to an neutral stimulus, Matt did it to the Star Wars movies, and a character on Bash.org masturbated in the shower so often that he would get an erection when it rained. Those may not be the best things to train your penis to respond to, but I can think of much worse things, for example, balloons. That'd pretty much screw up any birthday parties you go to for a while. On the plus side, you could pioneer the exciting new field of balloon animal bestiality. I'm not certain if I spelled that correctly, and don't want to verify the spelling online and get my computer flagged by the system admin. Interestingly, the first word the blogger spellcheck suggests is "postulated". Hmm.. Now who wants to try it? Same basic process as classical conditioning, the hardest part would probably be relating ejaculation to a stimulus exclusively, if that is possible. If so, it would probably still be accompanied by the other symptoms of arousal (dilated eyes, increased heart rate, adrenaline, et cedera). But hey, as long as it was immediate, right? Of course, this could prove to be extremely addicting, and also very profitable in the porn industry. They're always looking for men who can "perform on demand" according to Reefer Madness. I haven't given the whole idea a great deal of thought, as it's conception was only slightly before writing this. If anyone gives it a shot, I'd like to hear how it turns out. This sort of thing makes me want to switch my major and become an experimental psychologist. I bet I could totally condition monkeys to masturbate when they watch Conan O'Brien. Better yet, make that bears. Masturbating bears watching the masturbating bear. That's poetry.

Now that my testicles have descended I'm ready for some serious dry humpin'!

Today was excellent, asside from me having to cut meals a little shorter than I'd like in order to get to places on time. I love psychology class. The professor was gone today, so we watched another of Zimbardo's films that corrospond with his text pretty well. Today's episode: Emotion and Motivation. So basically, sex. It was fun. Nothing like watching some lab rats have sex in a room full of virigins. It's wonderful; I almost giggled as the male stopped (briefly) to whipe off his penis between sessions. Oh those horny bastards. The female didn't seem to be enjoying it as much as the male, but who can say. Psychologists, thats who. I hope more uncomfortable discussions continue in the next few classes. I love watching people choke on the word orgasm. Wonderful.
I sent an email to Crooks and Liars, about a news story I heard on NPR. What a sad state to live in. Scheller's fame class is doing the allegory of the cave by Plato. What a load of crap that was. I miss Pranger. A bit. Mostly Stark. I like having another horn player to play off of in combo...

I trust your sideburns are real

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4332272.stm

I feel like the whole world is crashing down on me. I am distraught. My childhood memories could not afford to be spared, could they?

Girl, I knew you had talent from the first time I felt you grinding into my business

I had intended to make a quick escape to the basement with my clothes and horn before the dreaded "floor prayer" but was thwarted by the hometeachers. Hometeachers are a funny thing, one is always really enthusiastic and does all the talking with an occasional nod from the other. Like Jay and Silent Bob in suits. Why do I hate floor prayer? Probably the same reason I hate all mandatory religious functions. Those without females are harder to attend, and with the eyesores on my floor, they wouldn't come unless it was. I'm not sure that made sense, i'm low on stimulants. Perhaps part of it goes back to another time I was low on stimulants and my RA did nothing to help me. Fuck you guys, I get withdrawals...
This whole blog has become a gruesome whinefest. It was way cooler in concept when it had 4 people posting instead of the lone loser (me). It was also someone in tune with the film pitch "can't hardly get some" by Sam Allen. Damn it, the RA just knocked. Floor prayer. I hate this.

Being a trucker's more than sleeping with random women, sure thats a big part of it...

It was probably his one shot. I don't count on any others lasting more than 5 years, if any. There could very well be, but they will probably never been as good. I am imagining him smoking with a beer gut, maybe a mustache. Its not a pretty picture, but thats what I get for thinking about someone else's future.
For whatever reason, all my highschool friends are defunct when it comes to the ladies. I can't say I'm flawless, but I don't get creepy. I push away, opposed to suffocate the way my friends seem to. I guess they just love too much. By "love", I mean "want sex". And by "too much," I mean "too much so they they don't get any". I have examples, but its not my place to share.
It's too bad Mark and Peter didn't join the same branch, they could probably end up living together, since they won't be living with women. Aside from each other as whatever the case may be. I bet he'll harbor a grudge against mormons now. I wouldn't blame him, I hate mormon girls too. A highschool girl breaking up with a guy over an impression she gets while she's on her knees is just silly. I should stop before I get enjected from the school for being a heretic, which I believe is entirely possible, and very tempting. For bragging rights. However, I don't want to have to pay back those stupid loans. I wonder how Pranger is doing. I hope no one takes the name Dr. Dangerman while Peter is away, that would suck. I'm talking to myself. Mostly procrastinating my already late math homework. December will be awkward. I was looking forward to it, but not so much anymore. I have one more thought to express. Syllogisms are the pinnacle of logic, as we all know, but they can be used to justify just about anything. I made up one about Britany being a terrorist because she broke up with mark, a member of the armed forces, and we all know that if you'd support the troops you're against them and being against the troops means your for the terrorists they fight, which makes you a terrorist by association. I hate this sort of logic. The dream of Meximericadia will be actuallized. It is a sad world. I'm thinking of taking up a little poetry again. I'm really down about the whole thing, it was something I was looking forward too. Damn it. He only gets store credit too. He should give the ring to another girl. Girls are a waste of money. I hate swearing using the word "Gosh". I want out of Idaho, it smells like shit.

All celebrities are completely hairless

Peter leaves today. I should have asked for more of his stuff. I really should have asked for more of mark's stuff. Maybe I could have gotten his x-box. Mostly I'd just like peter's prima guide for the sims, but I spend too much time on that game as it is. Sound Alliance is kicking it up, I should cut back. Especially with how inferior I am in that group. I think that's how I 'll spend the graduation money my grandfather gave me, and a Anticon hoodie, because those kick ass. I really need to listen more. I swing like a whitey. Calculus makes me miss City of Heroes, I'd really like to try kicking puppies on City of Villains after living in this podunk town. It's Napolean Dynamite meets Singles Ward. Can't wait for Christmas, already...

We principals are not the invincible sex gods the teen magazines would have you believe

I love my psychology class. We're studying learning right now, conditioning and the like. It is very awesome. I am looking forward to christmas break so I can train my brother. Previous flaws in my attempts to subject the boy to my will of cold drinks and discarded candy wrappers are overt, and will be easily corrected. I can't help but laugh at all the various conditioning experiments we subjected misfortunate students to in that damned hall and storage room. Sam's idea to create a supersoldier out of tristian could not have come to fruition, although he did become increasingly aggressive and fearful, as a strict diet of negative stimulii induce. We really should have had some girl (a positive reinforcement in itself) working with us that could "remove" the taser if he met certain criteria. Eventually we'd remove the girl from the equation before he would become dependent on her for protection and simply allow his satisfying of the initial demand to appease us. Other details like rewarding him for not avoiding holcomb as a negative stimulus would also have needed to be dealt with, we did to some part, with the handoffs of it so often, but not nearly enough. The situation as a whole would have just been so much better if we just could have rigged the drinking fountain to exhibit a mild electric shock when used like we had originally concieved. Alas, the alternative was still fun. I think I did a decent job with the squirt bottle to discourage talking, to some extent. While the ethics of it are certainly questionable, for the most part it worked, that is, we had productive sectionals. My plan to increase its negative affect was also in the right fashion, although some parts of it, such as different types of water, would not be effective unless they didn't enjoy the taste of saltwater, which most people don't. I did have limited positive reinforcement (giving candy) as well in addition to occasional negative reinforcement (not spraying them or letting them spray others). I don't think I ever applied much negative punishment, and am not sure exactly what I would have withheld if I had done so, although many possibilities were there had I thought to try. I think a major failure in it was my lack of consistancy, especially with positive reinforcement, and my occasional slack in maintaining a strict rehersal standard for talking and such. Also that they began to equate the squirtbottle into the conditioned stimulus as much as the talking, perhaps more, so in areas such as marching where I did not have the squirt bottle, they soon learned that they could talk all they wanted. Which they did. I did try to correct that last thing, but ultimately abandoned the project because a wearable supersoaker for positive punishment during marching band just isn't a simple procedure, as cool as it may have been. Again, some ethical issues as well. I won't go into the time Will was trained to fear clapping or his own name, as I wasn't ever a large part of that and cannot be sure of its administration or products. From what I'd seen, it worked though. A similar experiment which was shut down involved Chuck, this was mainly because of lack of interest and participation. To my credit, positive reinforcement through continual encouragement eventually made Danny into the sex-fiend that he became. I will probably never understand all the forces at work there, but will lay claim to a majority of them in the area (other influences in the area were primarily physiological and social coming from Britany and I can think of no discouraging stimulii regarding the matter until after the learning had been established [id est breaking up with britany]) and the successful results. This has been a rather large dissertation which was probably very uninteresting, but if you ate some enjoyable candy after each post you read, you'd eventually like them more. I encourage that with a strong "atta boy".

Am I...dying...?

Posts have been infrequent because I am so little self disapline. I am aware of it, and it will probably never be totally under control. Think less of me for it, if so inclined. Anyways, I have a bunch of stuff tomorrow to do. There was this one concert i was gonna trash, because the posters creep the hell out of me. Seriously, I'm not sure what it is about them, but they make me frail. The quasirant on it is saved as a draft, so eventually i might get around to it. I can't really mock it postconcert, that'd be sorta lame, with not seeing it and all. Even if it is like a dollar. Not like I'd have anyone to go with. If I'm going to a concert, I want someone there with me, so I can fine tune my witty zings and zorts. Therefore, no concert. Gosh, I'm lonely here. It'd be fine, if I knew when I opened up to someone, they were really opening up too. I think I may need a chemical change when I get back. I still don't know why series converge. Actually, what converging is. That class will wear my testicles as a necklace. I need more sleep. I wish it were possible. They need perscription stimulants that can be administered in a shot form, like insulin or something. I know nothing of insulin administration, aside from how they test the blood sugar levels with that needle pokey thingy. Yeah, temporary relief, that's what would be great; 3 hour dose as nessisary with a punch. Caffeine just isn't strong enough, too dilluted. Maybe a nasal spray.

The Sims 2

So you finally got the sims 2. Isn't it great, one of the most addictive games I've played. I think it takes third place. City of Heroes followed by RollerCoaster followed by sims, then sim city. I should probably go take a shower since I'm starting to smell here. At least your sims seems to be running on your computer. It's great, my sister can no longer borrow my games, because her laptop is such a piece of shit that it won't run them. muahahahahaha. Also, Shurb jr.'s poll rating are dropping to all time lows. People are finally realizing that he's an incompetant shithead! Time for a party!

God is in the mix!

Wow, this game is too addictive. Its like crack. Dangerously delicious crack. Damn. Nothing has been going on in my life because I've only been playing the sims. Pretty sad. Oh well. The casts of Clone High and That 70's Show would convert over fairly well. But do I dare??
I wonder where my roommate is...

Damn it! I haven't been to the Olive Garden in like forever!

Fuck this shit. Serious. Not really, i'm going through withdrawals. I have no stimulant, the only thing keeping me awake is an upset stomach (again, withdrawals) and rage at not having any stimulants (another withdrawal). Sure,s I don't do anything too hardcore, as that screws up my sleeping habits, but not doing anything does too. Fuck you mouse, quit clicking random places, fucker. I'm really pissed, as you can see. There's no fucking caffeine on campus, so i'd have to walk someplace, which would kill about a half hour of my time, which i have little of on mondays. Fuck you, Garfield, you aren't funny. God, I need some dew. I used the rest of mine for calculus, which sucks ass. I just want to fall asleep. Damn my addiction.