Waffling in THREE dimensions.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Shut your Facebook!

I am in a pretty good mood today. You probably would be too, if your day consisted almost entirely of slack, as my Thursdays usually are. That said, I can't help but feel a little rebuffed by something which recently came to my attention. It is, of course, nothing of great importance, but when your days consist of thinking about video games, Arrested Development, and volcanoes (usually in that order) small things seem more significant.

Given my good mood, I ventured to open an email that I would usually classify as spam, since it is generated by a facebook application. It was one of those "compare people" applications. I rarely use it. I rarely use any of the applications actually. And I really should get rid of one of wall functions I have on there that don't really do anything. Most of them exist as some sort of virulent personality test that I have no interest in. Ideally, we'd know the people we are friends with intimately enough to know their basic ideologies and favorite movies, books, television series, politicians, quotes, deities, and historical figures (Meriwether Lewis for the win!). I also like to consider myself a humorous person. Whether I succeed at this, I don't feel fair to judge. But I try and like to think people know that I make an effort to make them laugh and whatnot. Perhaps this has some part in why I was so taken back to learn:


WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?? I AM ZERO PERCENT FUNNY?! ZERO MOTHERFUCKING PERCENT?? I HATE YOU ALL!!!

There.

Now supposing anyone reads this, that should boost my score for "crazier". Which is already at 100%, but with only 1 vote. THE SAME 1 VOTE THAT SAYS I AM ZERO PERCENT FUNNY!!!

I'll now spend the next 6 posts denying that I really care that much about this. But seriously, I want to know who I was up against that caused me to lose, twice. I'm dwelling on this too much. I'll just rationalize it by saying that everyone just votes for the person they like more anyways.

Anyways, following this discovery, I went on a tirade to all 2 of the people I bother to talk to on aim, venting and the whatnot. I decided to go through and have what I thought in the moment to be a subtle sort of revenge: catharsis through that same compare friends application. It was going well until I hit this question:

This struck me as humorous in a plethora of ways. Some background information will be required. I will say that the girl on the left embodies many of the qualities I consider ideal in a mate (one of which is laughing at my jokes). The one on the right was a freshman when I was a senior in high school and appears to have filled out rather nicely, as I was telling Steve. I'm trying to find a way to describe this without making me sound like a complete bastard. That is probably not going to happen. Rather than an exhausting summation that will fail to redeem my image, I will present this article of conversation with my pal Steeeve with whom I first shared the capture and my juvenile quips.


The Saxy Poet: i was just in the band room
jedisteve101: i am sober
The Saxy Poet: i am glad
The Saxy Poet: it was interesting talking to you last night
The Saxy Poet: it was weird to go back into the band room
The Saxy Poet: it was CHOMP night
The Saxy Poet: it was super weird running into Kirsten's Mom
The Saxy Poet: oh lawd
jedisteve101: lol
The Saxy Poet: the first thing i noticed was how attractive Aimee Ketsdever has become
The Saxy Poet: she was volunteering and whatnot
The Saxy Poet: anyways
The Saxy Poet: look at what facebook just presented
jedisteve101: lol
jedisteve101: how old is she?
The Saxy Poet: 18, i believe
The Saxy Poet: senior
jedisteve101: alright alright
ATTENTION: Transfer complete: compare people.JPG.
The Saxy Poet: take a look
jedisteve101: no
jedisteve101: no way
jedisteve101: that's what it came up with
The Saxy Poet: yeah
The Saxy Poet: just came up
The Saxy Poet: i was like
The Saxy Poet: wtffffffffffffffffffffff
jedisteve101: what's your answer?
The Saxy Poet: i haven't yet!
The Saxy Poet: i mean
The Saxy Poet: both would be preferable

God. I'm a creep.

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