Gross! I feel like Randall Munroe!

I woke up a short time ago. I slept much longer than I had planned. There was one dream about going cycling with a girl I've had a crush on since elementary school and another about Spider-girl having the venom symbiote, or something. I don't really remember. Things are still hazy. This will be fun.

Whenever I have a dream about someone, I feel compelled to tell them the next day. It's a weird compulsion, I know. I usually resist the temptation to write something retarded on their FaceSpace wall, although I write foolish things on everyone's walls, including my own. Given that I am blogging about it now, it is clear: I have no established custom regarding my stupidity. In any case, I imagine that it would not be as flattering to tell a pretty girl that I had a dream featuring her as I would like to imagine.

In short, I have no idea what girls want, aside from proper dental hygiene.

Fortunately, I can take solace with my heterogametic brothers; no one knows! It is a scientific mystery! I am referring to the Nature special I watched last night, What Females Want. The second half, What Males Will Do, is on next Sunday and I encourage you to watch the spectacle of showboating and rejection throughout the animal kingdom. The bower bird remains a personal favorite of mine.

Females, as always, remain free to contact me for the purpose of enlightenment.